Sharanagati

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 29.09.2017 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)

Question of Krishna Priya: You mentioned before that it’s good to have friends everywhere and I wanted to ask: who is a real friend?

Swami Tirtha: You should be a real friend for others! Don’t wait for others to be friendly to you; you should be a friend to them. This story also starts with you. Don’t expect to be loved and appreciated. But try to serve and love others.

Prem Prasad: If they understand. Because sometimes they don’t.

Swami Tirtha: That’s their business. Our business is to be friendly.

Prem Prasad: It will not happen in one shot. Slowly-slowly.

Swami Tirtha: Бавно[1]. If we are full of bhaava, then it will happen. Because in that sense friendship is not a feeling. It’s not something that will satisfy me, that will give good feelings to me. Friendship is a vision. This is my approach to things in general – friendly mood. To be in good terms with the Supreme – this is a philosophy, we can say. It’s not a feeling, it’s a vision. Love is not a feeling, it’s a vision. It’s a state of consciousness. Because feelings are coming and going, changing all the time. These are products of the mind. And mostly – of the uncontrolled mind. And what will the result be – these bitter fruits that were mentioned in the beginning. You expect your happiness from others, right? It’s romantic! Romantic equals foolish, but in a more polite manner. Be smart! Be able to see beyond the matrix.

Friendly disposition – it’s an approach to life in general. It’s not an expectation, this is a service, this is an attitude. I know a person who has this friendly disposition practically to all. Yet some consider even him as an enemy. But this is the business of others. Your business is to possess this friendly disposition.

Still, to be practical: who is a real friend – that’s a very good question. Because usually people consider ‘a friend’ a person who will hide your mistakes. For example, in devotional relationships you are very good friends with somebody: ‘I know your maya and you don’t expose my maya.’ Best friendship! ‘In this way we serve each other nicely, right? And we agree, deeply!’ Is that a real friend!? You are balancing close to the edge and somebody comes and pushes you down – is this a good friend?! No! Somebody who will come and save you by exposing you to your difficult side.

But all those who are neophytes in this respect, they will come in a very pushy manner – they will show all your shortcomings to expose you to your true face. Usually this is a little offensive. Yet the master’s degree here is when you can expose others and show their true realities in such a manner that they are happy about it and accept it. And the grand-master level of exposing the truth is when it’s so very surcharged with affection that the person doesn’t even think of any offence or something like this. He is not hurt.

Prem Prasad: We should be happy when we are shown our bad sides.

Swami Tirtha: Yes, we have to prepare for that. Because this is a jump into the darkness, right? But we hope that if we jump, somebody will catch us. Therefore you can feel safe.

(to be continued)

[1] It’s a play on words; ‘бавно’ in Bulgarian means ‘slowly’, but it sounding reminds of ‘bhaava’ (full of feelings) in Sanskrit