Sharanagati

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

We need to follow the eternal path. But really, how to find such a path? This question has been with humanity for the last 5000 years. In the Mahabharata this question is also given: ‘What is to be done? If you want to achieve perfection, what to do?’ And it is suggested: mahajano yena gatah sa pantha[1] – “Follow the path of the great souls, or follow the path of the angels”.

Therefore we need examples. And our prime example is our spiritual master. From him, through him we can learn a lot about spiritual practises. And as we are very positively and very harmoniously connected to him, his ideals will slowly, slowly transfer to us and to become our ideals. This is a beautiful transmission. And more and more we shall realize that beyond the perishable body we are eternal souls. Beyond the limited thoughts we have eternal perfect consciousness. And beyond the miserable experience of life we are made of bliss. You are made of bliss! Somebody has to come to tell us this news. You are not born to die. You are made up of bliss. Your consciousness will be perfect if you realize that. And that will totally change your existence.

From life as a limited experience we can come to the perfection of existence. From the limited thoughts we can come to the prefect state of consciousness. And from the miseries of the limited life we can come to the eternal bliss of spiritual existence.

But now you might say: ‘These are just promises. Give me something now. You promise eternal life and this and that – it’s so far away. Give me something now.’ This is correct. But in order to achieve, to perceive something spiritual, we need to be active, we need to practise, to do. Miserable practise – miserable result. Strong and committed practise – then we will achieve something.

So, we need examples and therefore if we want to enter into deeper, deeper relationship with the Supreme, we need ideals who represent these relationships. By following the good example we can improve our standards. And beyond neutrality, servitude and friendship there is one next step and this is to establish a family relationship with God. See how much Christianity helped people to understand that there is a son of God and there is a God father – this is a relationship. We are also sons of the Supreme, small sons. But our teachers tell us something very, very special – that sometimes the devotees can become like fathers and mothers of the Supreme. Mother Mary, the mother of God – just think properly, the concept is there. When the meditation, when the readiness to serve is so strong that God will accept to come in your family. Alright, maybe He will not take birth as your son, but you can serve Him like this anyway. You can take so much care as a loving father or as a loving mother. Isn’t that beautiful? It’s a very intimate type of service. This is very selfless. And some say: ‘If it is possible to enter into such an intimate relationship with the Supreme, just to feel like His father, to feel like His mother – then this is our path.’

Also you can feel yourself as belonging to Him as sons or daughters. The relationship is the same. So try to cherish this idea, to enter into such an intimate relationship like He is a member of your family. You are ready to prepare His food. You are ready to arrange everything nicely around Him. You think ahead what He is going to do tomorrow. To prepare the clothes, to bring Him water to drink. It is possible to have that total and absolute caring mood. And then He will accept it, because the service attitude of pure devotees, pure souls is stronger than Him.

(to be continued)

[1] Mahabharata, Vana Parva, 313.117

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

We need to follow the eternal path. If we follow a non-eternal path, we shall fail. The perfection of our human life is waiting at the end of our eternal path. But in order to find this eternal path, we need to be extremely lucky. You will say: ‘Lucky? If everything is determined by karma, action-reaction, what is this good luck?’ You might think that it doesn’t exist. But actually less-informed people believe in chance; better-informed people believe in results, action-reaction; but those who are supremely intelligent believe in good luck.

Because what is good luck? This is the smile of the Supreme over you, right. Do you believe in that? Yes, we want to believe in that – that the merciful God has a merciful and smiling glance over us. And fortunately enough, our icon, our ideal – this Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead – is always described as smiling. I don’t know if you have checked His pictures, but He is always smiling. Why? Because these pictures don’t describe the Supreme as heavily overburdened by the job of creation or having a morose vision due to judging the sins of the human beings. He is not interested in that. There are some guys who take care of these duties. But on Krishna’s face you will always see a smile.

His beauty is compared to the full moon – it is another chance to remember Krishna. His feet are compared to lotuses. His face is compared to the full moon. His eyes are compared to the lotus petals. So, if we can imagine beauty to the utmost – this is God. Can we imagine an ugly God? No, it’s impossible. We believe in beauty and love, we want to follow the eternal path of beauty and love. And if through good fortune we can find this eternal path, then this is the good luck. This is the blessing smile of the Supreme over us.

Question: You spoke very beautiful words about Krishna, that He is only love. But why is He sending Arjuna to such a devastating war in Bhagavad Gita?

Swami Tirtha: Very good question, thank you. If we take the Kurukshetra war as a symbol of life, then we shall know that during a lifetime we have very good, positive and elated periods, but we have very difficult moments as well. So, the Kurukshetra war was such a difficult moment, a conflict. Yet actually everything that comes from God is a blessing. So, His favour towards His devotees like the Pandavas and their army was like a direct blessing. But those who had to take the role of enemies, they were also blessed and although they lost this battle, they achieved liberation. We can say that towards the enemy this was an indirect blessing from God Krishna. So ultimately, although at first glance this seems like a conflict, ultimately it is an arrangement.

Life is very similar. Sometimes we lose battles. But we shall not lose the war. And of course, there are many different aspects, but maybe these little ideas might help you to understand.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.05.2018, Rila)

(continues from the previous Monday)

We have to study Jiva Goswami’s purports to the mahamantra. First he gives the text that he shall discuss. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. You know, our scope is small. And our ability to change between different moods is very weak. But he is very much able to give one, and another, and yet another type of explanation. So, he will explain the depths of the mahamantra in three different moods, three different emotional understandings. The first one is in the mood of aishwarya-gyana, or the majestic consciousness. Actually he discusses the different words included in the mahamantra, which are not many, it’s only three words – Hare, Krishna and Rama. So he will give an explanation to these three words first in this mood of aishwarya, the majestic understanding of Godhead.

“Harati – to take away. As He will take away the three kinds of sufferings of all those, who remember Him and also He will remove all the sins, sinful reactions coming from previous unlimited number of births, therefore He is called Hari.” So, Hari means a person who will remove. Remove the three kinds of sufferings and the unlimited sinful reactions.

I think this understanding is very close to us, to the beginner practitioners. What is so painful for us? Many times people say ‘Life is so painful!’ And then they start to try to enjoy life. So what is so painful in life? One major element here is the suffering. Although we don’t want it, we want to avoid suffering, it will come anyway. Just as we discussed recently: if we come here, if we take birth, it’s for sure that we shall go. Yet we are surprised by death. Why? If you live, it’s for sure you will pass away. Don’t be surprised. Of course the feeling is painful, but this is something very natural. Yet we perceive death as something frightening or fearful or painful.

So life is suffering. Well, in our culture in the West people say, ‘Oh, life is for enjoyment’ – and then everybody is complaining. ‘Life is a party’ – but then your face is sour. In the East everybody knows that life is suffering – yet people smile. I think in our system something is wrong. If we project our hopes over life, then we shall face the brutal reality. While those who analyze life and understand philosophically that basically, material life is suffering, they can enjoy, so to say, the hope that they can go beyond.

But Hari, this special aspect of Krishna, will remove this feeling of suffering. Actually, it is declared that people don’t suffer due to the things around them, but they suffer due to how they perceive them. Therefore we can agree that actually, as vaishnava practitioners – those who have a shelter, those who have a spiritual goal – you have no right to complain. Maybe you have some reason to complain, but you have no right to complain. It’s easy to say it and easy to smile when you hear it, but please apply it. Why? Because we don’t suffer due to the things around us, but we suffer due to our perception. The psychology department agrees?

Bhagavat Prasad: Yes, Gurudev, absolutely.

Swami Tirtha: This is the only reason for people to suffer. They have a wrong perception. The first step in yoga, the first step in spiritual life is: purify your vision. Come to your senses, have a perfect perception.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

These days we discussed certain types of relationships between human beings and the Supreme Lord. And these divine relationships are reflected in our daily human life. One such relationship was the neutral relationship. What happens if we associate with the angels in a neutral way? Nothing. ‘Angel – all right. I am still the same.’

If our resistance starts to melt a little bit, then some positive feeling will manifest. This is when from an outsider I start to become an insider. Then some service mood will manifest. ‘All right, he is an angel wearing white robes. But this world is so contaminated, his white trousers always become dirty, so I am ready to clean his trousers.’ Or ‘He is flying all over, I want to give some food to him so that he can fly further.’ Some service mood is there.

As soon as we start to treat our angels with service mood, they will accept it. If you are in a passive disposition, they will accept your passive, neutral disposition, but there is no feedback. If you start to be more active, they will accept it. If we take one step further and if we try to establish some friendship with these angels, they will act like friends – it’s a much more intimate, much more intensive connection. And when we take further steps, they are ready to respond in the way we try to approach them. So very soon we can understand that our spiritual master is our eternal father, for example, taking all possible care of us. If you have such a father, that’s a good feeling, right? I have no care about my life, because he takes care of it.

So, everything is based on relationship. And if we go further and further in our spiritual understanding, spiritual enlightenment, we shall see more refined and more delicate aspects of the saints around us. Try to find the saints in your life. Find your angels and follow them. That is the divine path. And if our master instructs us in spiritual life, then we have to follow.

Question: What happens if you let your hand be held by an angel, and what happens if you let him lead you?

Swami Tirtha: You will fly. Then the real transformation will start. Because an angel, or a spiritual personality, comes from a different plane of existence. But we have no information of that. Do you remember the feeling when you visit an unknown city, for example? You don’t know where to go, where to turn. That’s a very strange feeling, you feel stranded. You don’t speak the language, you have a lot of problems. Just imagine yourself – all of a sudden you are transferred to the spiritual sky. It is an unknown place for us. ‘I know Sofia, but I don’t know the spiritual sky. Please, somebody guide me. Where is the telephone? Where is the Ladies’ Market[1]?’ I tell you, in the spiritual sky there must be Ladies’ Market. It’s called Gopi Bazar. You know, somebody has to guide us, somebody has to introduce us: “Come with me! This is your place, feel safe. Don’t worry.” That’s the guide. The guide – then you will feel safe. ‘Even though I don’t know the place, I trust that I am under full care.’

So, what happens if an angel takes our hand? He will lead us – through fire and water, and thorny bushes, and unexpected experiences on the path of eternity. So be prepared for an exiting journey. Excitement – this will happen, but of a spiritual type. And why? Because that land is made up of mercy. These messengers are representatives of ultimate mercy.

(to be continued)

[1] A well-known marketplace in Sofia

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

If an angel is a messenger of God, my Gurudev was a messenger of God as well. He was like an Apostol of bhakti-yoga in Eastern Europe and he visited your country many times. It was a very important place for him, he cherished the local devotees in his heart and tried to serve them with all possible means. And he was ready to share this very dear service with others.

Once after many years of being engaged with him, he told me: “Hey, why don’t you go to Sofia?” I said: “It’s a totally unknown place to me. I know nothing about it, but if you say so, I have to go.”

And then very soon everything was arranged and I had my first visit to Sofia on December the 24th. So, it was like a Christmas gift for me. And there was big snow, it was cold, but when we entered the small flat of the devotees, immediately this very warm devotional atmosphere was there.

This gift is still with me. I feel very honoured that I’m here with you. And I don’t feel as a guest, I feel like an honourable Bulgarian – if you accept me as that. You have become very important in my life. I appreciate your beautiful country as prabhudatta-desha – as a service given directly by the master, a place that I was dedicated to go to. And then the miracles started to happen. A real messenger of God is like this, he will design your future. If you simply follow his instructions, your whole life will turn into a miracle.

Therefore I say, if we discuss about relationships – the relationship to a saintly person, the relationship to a spiritual master is extraordinary. It’s just like going beyond the human race, because such a person will represent the eternal truth that is beyond our human experience.

Usually the most important human relationships that we have are friendship and love. Also some family relationships. These are very strong ties; they will determine our life. We are eternally the sons and daughters of our fathers and mothers. This will never change. Your children will be eternally there for you, right. It will never change, irrespective of their behaviour, whatever happens – it doesn’t change. These relationships move us to act, they bind us to some duties and they elevate us in our hopes.

But the relationship to a spiritual person is different, it’s deeper. It’s more intense. In my humble opinion this is practically the most powerful connection to a living person. Because here we are ready to give not only half of our life, but all. How many times have you said in your life: “Oh, I’m ready to give half of my life for this purpose, for you.” But it is enough to say to a saintly person: “I give my life totally to you. I dedicate myself to you, to your purpose.” And then a mysterious transformation will start. From an outsider you start to become an insider. From a normal human being you apply to the school of angels. And first we see the teacher in our teacher; then we start to see more and more.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 evening, Sofia)

These days we are discussing relationships. Relationships create a human being, they make up a human being. Without relationship we cannot understand a person. From our relationships we can derive the most intense happiness and the greatest disturbance. That means relationships are something very important in our life.

Relationships extend beyond the human race. We have a relationship to our dog, right?  You see, it’s important, we have to serve a lot in that relationship; but we are ready to serve. Also sometimes we are related to a mosquito. It’s not very pleasant, but it’s also a relationship. Other times we have human beings around. Some acts as friends, others act as enemies, a third type act as mosquitoes. Yet some act as spiritual brothers and sisters. They are God-sent. The Supreme Lord takes care of us by providing the company of saintly people around. That is unique. Again, that is beyond the human race, because they are angels. It’s so nice to have angels as friends, well-wishers.

Who is an angel? A messenger of God, right? So, among all these angelic beings and saintly personalities around us, there is one unique – our archangel. Our saviour, who will change our life. Who will convert us from a lost condition to an elevated position. This archangel, this supreme angel sent to us directly by the merciful God, is our saviour master. Guru is like this, a saviour angel.

Once my Gurudev visited my home when I was young. He entered my room really like an angel. He was thin, all dressed in white and he didn’t show his wings, but I felt them. It was such a transcendental experience! Same room, same life, same me; but somebody extra was coming. And my dear brothers and sisters, this changed my life. Before that I was very much lost. All right, now I am also lost, but at that time I was even more lost.

Because to tell you the truth, I was very much dissatisfied with this life. I had everything to be satisfied, but I didn’t see, didn’t find the reason why we should live here. Why should we go through all this experience that is waiting for us? If we come from oblivion and if we will end up in oblivion, then why spend these 60 years here? It’s useless. But then I understood that angels do exist. There is life eternal, there is a real life beyond this limited experience here. And if we can find our way out of the labyrinth of life, why should we go in this labyrinth? Let’s take the away out.

So, I am eternally indebted to my divine master who walked into my life like an angel, took my hand and gave me everything that I have. It is suggested by our teachers that we should follow the angels. What happens if you let yourself be taken by the hand by an angel? And if you start to follow an angel? Most probably you will also become an angel. Maybe you still hide your wings, but the first feathers are already growing.

All right, this was a very romantic introduction. But we desperately need something real and beautiful. I want to live with angels. So please, become more and more like angels, so that we can always stay together.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

Question: I have a question regarding expectations towards children. Because in the materialistic culture we say “flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood”. And sometimes, especially the materialistic people, they believe that they continue their experience through their children. And if they have not accomplished something, their children can accomplish it. For example, my mother wanted me to play the violin, because she didn’t become a musician and I played the violin for some time, now I can’t play at all, because I didn’t want to play, only my mother wanted me to play. My question is whether the expectations that parents project on their children have anything to do with real love or just with their unfulfilled ambition?

Swami Tirtha: Well, I have another question: for my sake, can you play the violin for Krishna?

Answer: I never tried. Yes, Maharaj.

Swami Tirtha: I believe in expectations. Because if, for example, Gurudev or my senior brothers didn’t expect me to join, to do, to learn, to practise, to serve, I wouldn’t do so. So I think good expectations are very, very useful. They can help a lot. Or in the mornings and in the evenings you expect that I will give a lecture, right? Maybe this is useful. So I think expectations are good, but we must have proper expectations – towards ourselves and towards our environment. There is a very good example of a father’s expectation to a son in our tradition. This was the father of Shrila Prabhupada, who had two main expectations to his son. What was the first? That he becomes not a violin player, but a mridhanga player. A perfect mridhanga player. And what was the second?

Paramananda: To become a great devotee of Radharani.

Swami Tirtha: Correct. So we must have the proper expectations. Then the sons will grow to fulfil them. If our consciousness is based in spirituality, then we shall have good expectations. Purity is the key. If we have a pure consciousness, then can we have bad desires or harmful relationships? No, impossible.

I do believe in expectations; but definitely many times we project our unfulfilled desires over our children. And I am also like this. I couldn’t become a good devotee, but I expect all of you to become good devotees. What I couldn’t accomplish, you should do. Do you let me have this expectation?

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

We are searching for the super-charged sentiments and ecstasies in parenthood. Let’s see some examples for that.

“In Shrimad-Bhagavatam, Tenth Canto, eighth chapter, verse 45, it is stated by Shukadeva Gosvami that mother Yashoda accepted Lord Krishna as her son, although He is accepted in the Vedas as the king of heaven, in the Upanishads as the impersonal Brahman, in philosophy as the supreme male, by the yogis as the Supersoul and by the devotees as the Supreme Personality of Godhead.”[1]

What happens if you start to explain to mother Yashoda: “Maya, this is the absolute truth. Don’t you see the impersonal brahman in this Krishna?” What she will say?  “No, never!” So you might come with some explanations, but she doesn’t care. “No, no, this is my dear son.” This is called illusion – but a divine one. When ‘I don’t want to pay any attention to His greatness. I want Him on my lap!’ Do you think that the impersonal Brahman can take your breast milk? Never! Impossible.

“Once mother Yashoda addressed one of her friends in this way: “Nanda Maharaja, the leader of the cowherd men, worshiped Lord Vishnu, along with me, and as a result of this worship, Krishna has been saved from the clutches of Putana and other demons.” You see, it’s not that Krishna finished with this demoniac person, but ‘We were praying, so He was saved’.

“The twin arjuna trees were, of course, broken due to a strong wind, and although Krishna appeared to have lifted Govardhana Hill along with Balarama, I think that Nanda Maharaja actually held the mountain. Otherwise how could it have been possible for a little boy to lift such a great hill?”

This is another example of ecstasy in parental love. This kind of parental love is generated in a devotee out of his conviction, in love, that he himself is superior to Krishna and that without being taken care of by such a devotee, Krishna could not possibly live. One devotee therefore prayed to the parents of Lord Krishna as follows: “Let me take shelter of the elderly parental devotees of Lord Krishna. They are always anxious to serve Krishna and to maintain Him, and they are always so kind to Him. Let us offer our respectful obeisances unto them for being so kind to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is the parent of the whole universe!

“Let others worship the Vedas and the Upanishads, and let others worship the Mahabharata if they are afraid of material existence and want to become liberated from that condition. But as far as I am concerned, I wish only to worship Maharaja Nanda, because the supreme absolute Personality of Godhead, Krishna, is crawling in his courtyard as his own child.”

This beautiful quotation is guiding us: All right, you can understand the Absolute truth, you can be liberated, but what is the point? The point is to be lovingly connected to Krishna.

“Following is a list of respectable personalities who enjoy parental affection toward Krishna: (1) mother Yashoda, the Queen of Vraja, (2) Maharaja Nanda, the King of Vraja, (3) mother Rohinī, the mother of Balarama, (4) all the elderly gopis whose sons were taken away by Lord Brahma, (5) Devaki, the wife of Vasudeva, (6) the other fifteen wives of Vasudeva, (7) Kunti, the mother of Arjuna, (8) Vasudeva, the real father of Krishna and (9) Sandipani Muni, Krishna’s teacher. All these are considered respectable elderly personalities with parental love for Krishna. This list is in order of superior importance, and thus we can see that mother Yashoda and Maharaja Nanda are considered to be the supermost of all elderly personalities.“

It’s not that we want to project our worldly experience over the spiritual truths. But rather we want to project this Superior truth over our daily activities. Then you can easily sanctify them.

So, my dear fathers and mothers, please go ahead, this is a very glorious job and service that you are doing. As I told you many times, even the sanyasis are born from mothers. So, families are a very strong, important institution. This dharma is supported and practised by you. So don’t let this glorious dharma duty be corrupted, broken down or neglected.

(to be continued)

[1] The Nectar of devotion Ch.43

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

 “Learned scholars have described the impetuses for parental love for Krishna, existing in the elderly personalities who are in relation with Him, as follows: “The Supreme Personality of Godhead, whose bodily complexion is just like a bluish, new-grown lotus flower, whose body is very delicate and whose lotus eyes are surrounded by scattered hair as black as bees, was walking on the streets of Vrindavana when mother Yashoda, the beloved wife of Nanda Maharaja, saw Him. Immediately the milk began to flow from her breasts, soaking her body.”[1]

All right, this the father cannot do. I accept that. But what does it mean? Something moves inside, irresistibly. First is the inner feeling, second is the bodily manifestation. You are the fathers and mothers, so you know it better – when you see your child for the first time, something moves inside you. Later all the other symptoms will come, but first is this trembling of the soul. And we love our kids, irrespective of if the kids love us. So we are on the hook. They enjoy their freedom, but as a father, as a mother you have to understand: your freedom was gone a long time ago. Isn’t that sweet? I see some wrinkles on your foreheads, but I think it’s sweet anyway. Why? Because anyway we have to serve someone in this lifetime. This is life – service, dedicate yourself to someone. So why not to your beloved ones?

When you have one child, you think: “Oh, I have everything. And I am so busy.” Then you will have the second child and say: “I am busier.” The third will come and you are lost. But one child is good, two children are better, and three is the minimum. No, really! If two can produce only one – what’s that? It’s not multiplication, it’s a loss. Two will produce two – then all right. But there are some couples, who don’t produce and there are some ascetics. Who will take care of their progress? So, you must have minimum three.

Baladev: You said that on the third child we are lost, what happens on the fourth?

Swami Tirtha: Oh, then your love will multiply. No, really, if you calculate, this is multiplication. Progeny is not simply for substitution, but for multiplication – to bring more souls to accomplish their spiritual journey. And then you will start to have your grandsons and granddaughters. Once we started to count with Isvara the grandsons and the granddaughters. And after 40 I stopped.

“Some specific provocations for parental love of Krishna are listed as His blackish bodily hue, which is very attractive and pleasing to see, His all-auspicious bodily features, His mildness, His sweet words, His simplicity, His shyness, His humility, His constant readiness to offer respect to the elderly and His charity. All of these qualities are considered ecstatic provocations for parental love.”[2]

So, something moves us. The vision, the presence, the hope, the mood, the behaviour. I don’t say that what we perceive here on this planet Earth is equal to the spiritual reality, but it tells the story about it. These daily relationships mean much more than simple actions. Therefore we can say that they are a mystic experience. Because a mystic experience goes beyond the simple direct meaning. It shows something hidden.

So, if you can observe your human relationships from a divine point of view, then all your days will become a mystic experience. And then you are not lost in the disharmony of the relationships, of the experience. But you can observe: “Yes, Rupa Goswami was correct – whenever I see my child, I tremble”. So it is true, whatever he writes here is true! It is true to the last word, to the last character.

(to be continued)

[1] The Nectar of devotion Ch.43

[2] The Nectar of devotion Ch.43

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday) 

Question of Mathuranath: Maharaj, maybe it’s a tricky question – who loves more, father or son. Maybe we should ask: who is more ready to serve? Once I was listening to a lecture and it concerned friendship: “Who can be called a real friend? And do you have somebody to whom you are such a friend?” The answer for me was smashing. To say that you are a friend of somebody or you have a friend, the other one should be ready to sacrifice everything for you; and are you ready to sacrifice everything for him? Love is sacrifice, self-sacrifice. I apologise for this, but this was on my mind and I decided to share it.

Swami Tirtha: Correct. Maybe we cannot say ‘better’ or ‘more’, but we love each other in a different manner. Another big question in any relationship is if there is total balance between the feelings. But usually they are imbalanced, usually one party is more affectionate to the other than vice-versa. Somebody is very important for you, and you don’t have the same feedback. There is a mantra about it: “I know that I am only one of the many for you, but you are the only one for me.” Is it bitter when we say so? No, it’s not. Because at least we have one focus.

Paramananda: Even if that is some relief, still it is bitter.

Swami Tirtha: You see, that is not unconditional, because you want to posses the other party’s attention fully. Which is natural and therefore I said that unconditional love is a theory! We want the other party, ‘I want his or her company’. It’s not that ‘I want her to go here and there. No, stay here!’ What kind of unconditional love, that’s bullshit. Anyway, my conviction is that the possessive love is the highest. But nobody understands this, so I don’t speak about that.

But in parenthood due to your position as a father or mother you have to take responsibility, no doubt. This is one feature. And the children should follow. Still, these days there are websites which will educate children to exercise their right, to understand their rights. Six-seven year-old children to be educated about their rights. And there are organizations to support their rights against their parents. Who will educate them about their duties? How can you dare to speak about rights without telling about the duties? Without the duties there are no rights, sorry. If you don’t perform, what do you expect? Of course, please, fathers and mothers, remember when you were young, because usually we repeat what we wanted to avoid.

Therefore we have to take example from Nanda Baba and Mother Yashoda. They are good examples. Usually the father is more strict and the mother is more mild to the child. But what do we see in Nanda Baba and Yashoda Maya? Sometimes she is very strong and he is very lenient. She is taking the stick and chasing Krishna. This never happens with Nanda Baba. What does he do? In the morning, when Krishna is rushing to take care of the cows, he will ask: “Have you taken your breakfast?” Because Krishna is late in the morning. Do you know that feeling – when you are running after the bus? So Krishna is also late in the morning and therefore He is rushing, but Nanda Baba stops Him and says: “My dear son! Have you got something to eat?“ “No, no, no. I don’t have anything,” says Krishna. “Then take mine!”

But you know, although in India in general they cook very spicy, nevertheless they cook less spicy for the children. But this is the chapati of Nanda Baba and it is spicy. So when the kids go out to the pasturing grounds, they let the cows go here and there, and they sit to eat their breakfast, then Krishna will taste it and say: “It’s too hot!” Meanwhile, what is the mother doing? Always chasing and chastising, and educating, and doing this, and doing that – it’s very difficult to tolerate.

Yashoda: But her food is sweet, not a spicy.

Swami Tirtha: Yes, all right. After this romantic intermission, let’s go back to philosophy.

(to be continued)