Sharanagati

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2019 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

It is said, to sit alone and meditate is good. If you have a partner for that, that’s better. And if we can glorify the holy name in a harmonious company, that is best. Together, right? And bhajan is not only a singing. Bhajan is your worship. I feel that you like the bhajan so much, you sing together, glorifying the Holy Name. But what is the upgrade of bhajan? This is kirtan. 

So, we have an instrument of inner control. Try to apply that. First, this is like control –  chanting the holy names – you wait for your peace of mind, you wait for your liberation. But if you keep on chanting the Holy Names, more subtle tastes will also appear. The inner purification of the heart, the heart intelligence will happen. And what was a big problem for you yesterday, today you will see it’s insignificant, it doesn’t hurt you anymore. Sometimes we want to see a great leap in our spiritual progress, although small little steps are maybe more precious. And slowly-slowly what is so important for you today, as a suffering or as a hope – because you cherish your sufferings – loses its importance. And other things start to be more important for you. You are not intent on discovering America anymore. Rather, you want to explore the spiritual sky – a much more interesting and inviting challenge. 

So please, try to apply this very subtle method to yourself. And if you become more compassionate due to this inner purification, then you will find a way to people’s heart. Sometimes our knowledge or our spiritual achievements help in that respect. Other times our failures help to approach, to understand others. Because if you don’t fail, you think that you will never fail. And you don’t understand how people fail. How is it that they cannot stop the wind? You think that you can stop it, although you never tried. Try! Fail! Be ready to take the trouble as well. But never lose the spirit. You can lose, but your mission should never lose. Your God will never lose. Your faith should never lose. „Declare it boldly: “My devotee is never lost“. You can lose a battle, but you should win the war. 

And why do we want to approach people? Once Gurudev asked us, “Why do we preach?” You know, these very simple questions are very challenging. ‘Because usually we do it like this, it’s a habit.’ ‘Well, because you are preaching, Gurudev, and we try to imitate you and we are also trying to preach.’ No. What kind of answer can you give to such a question? Difficult, simple questions are very difficult to answer. What is the meaning of your life? Who are you? What is your goal? Simple questions. Close to impossible to answer. So we tried our best to find the proper answer, but then Gurudev said, “Because Mahaprabhu told us to”. Therefore we want to find a way to reach people, to meet them, to associate with them, to help them come closer to their spiritual identity. You cannot be so cruel to let people around you die in bodily consciousness! Why don’t you tell them that they are spirit souls? Preaching is not that complicated. You don’t need to give a dry and boring philosophical discussion. No! Give a message. Because the more people take their share in the spiritual inheritance, the better it is.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2019 morning, Sofia)

We bring our materially conditioned mind. We might project our material experience over the divine truths. It’s a mistake. Many times, Gurudev was teaching us about that as well – not through words, but through action. Many times when there was a discussion, we came up with some suggestions or solutions. And in most of the cases, he rejected them and came up with his version, which was a totally mind-blowing resolution, sometimes 108% against the topmost of our understanding. It seemed so illogical and useless, that most of the times we wanted to start to protest, but we knew that it’s no use. And then it turned out that he was correct. From that I understood: our level of understanding is a little bit different.
So we need fine-tuning, we need polishing of our understanding – and this is not only an intellectual understanding. Devotional life is not an intellectual enigma, it’s rather an emotional secret. We need a deeper, different kind of understanding, and this is the intelligence of the heart. If you love Krishna, you will understand more. Therefore, Shrila Prabhupada said, “Simply try to love Krishna”. It’s not necessary to over-complicate the whole situation. Because if you love someone, naturally he is part of your life. Or, if we are more fortunate, we become part of His life.
What about the condition of our mind? I don’t like to talk about this topic, because it’s very easy to trigger people with this. But what is usually the condition of our mind? It’s full of garbage. We have accumulated and collected so much stuff there, the vast majority of which is useless. And it’s not only the information that we have collected, but the emotional residue that we keep. When you make coffee and this residue remains, you throw it out, right? You don’t drink that part. Our mind is full of such residue. Previous impressions, our sufferings, our bad conditionings; you failed, you won, you’re full of fear, your hopes and dreams, unfulfilled mostly… This is what I call a totally corrupted condition of our mind, full of this emotional residue. Plus the problems that you have. ‘What about tomorrow? If my dream will come true? Money is coming and going, but in my case it’s more like going.’ Our mind is full of trouble, right? Where is your peace of mind? Only residue. And if you stir a little bit – all the mud will come to the surface, my dear! Fighting spirit and so much garbage is there. Then what to do?
I was living in Nandafalva. One day it was a beautiful hot summer day. And you know, sometimes on hot summer days storms appear. So this happened. I was in the garden, cultivating a little bit. Then all of a sudden I just looked up and I saw an incredibly great cloud was coming – huge like an ocean liner. Really, that was the feeling. I didn’t see the top of it and it was just coming towards me. I said, ‘Ah, very nice. Let’s try this. A nice experience, you know – to face the storm. Because we are devotees, right? With the spiritual power we shall overcome the forces of nature.’ It was approaching, approaching…. you know, my stamina was agitated and at the same time a little questioned. As it was a hot day, I didn’t have my shirt on, so I was waiting for the experience. Then first the wind came. It was so strong that it almost knocked me off my legs. All right, I had the fence behind my back, so I was still standing. But then the rain came. And it was just like whips. It was so strong and so smashing that I actually had to hide behind this fence, I couldn’t protect myself otherwise. Well, then I had to reconsider my stamina. And although I still believe in the power of the spirit, I try to appreciate the forces of nature more. Because before the wind came, a verse from Gita came to me, where Arjuna said, “Oh, it’s easier to stop the wind than to pacify the mind”[1]. All right, peace of mind is achieved; now let’s stop the wind. Well, I failed. Did you achieve this control of the mind?
But there must be a means to control our mind, to reject the garbage. To throw out the residue. To purify. I think we have a very convincing experience when we chant the holy names. If you can dedicate yourselves to this practice, you feel that the garbage is removed. Then something else will fill your mind up to the brim. All the troubles that you have, all the past miseries, all the future fears just disappear, melt in the waves of this divine vibration. It is suggested that we should have this feeling when chanting our japa individually. Sometimes you feel it, many times you don’t. But when we come together, then you can feel it very profoundly.

(to be continued)

1.  Bhagavad Gita 6.34

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.01.2019 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

Radhe Radhe Govinda! Who is Govinda? We started from some theories, mantra, to liberate the consciousness… and finally we have arrived to Govinda. And Radha, you know Her very well. All right, you can ask, Radha we know, but who is this Govinda? Radha is the most beautiful girl in the village, right? But who is this Govinda? You know, in our tradition Radharani is the most charming person in this whole creation. So much so, that there is only one person who is able to appreciate Her and this is God. Only God can understand or appreciate Her beauty, Her charm, Her love, etc. 

From God we expect to be omniscient, right? And we all admire the Supreme. But just imagine, there is someone whom He admires. It is just mind-blowing! We started from liberating the consciousness and now we end up with breaking our head. God is running after someone?! That is incredible. But this is Radha; and who is running after Her? Govinda. Because Krishna-Govinda is so beautiful, that His beauty is marvelous even for Himself. Yes, once when He was on this planet Earth, He entered a palace. And one column was made of polished precious stone. It was reflective like a mirror. Krishna came and when He encountered His reflection in this mirror column, He was amazed. He said, ‘What is this beauty? Who is this incredibly handsome person? Who is this? I cannot imagine’. So, the beauty of God is so great, that it is charming for even Himself. He cannot understand Himself. 

I think sometimes we also share this feature. Sometimes we don’t understand ourselves. I am not sure if it means that we are also gods. But you see, we humans are very similar to Him. Or we can say, He comes in a very similar manner to us. 

Just imagine, the beauty of God Supreme is so super excellent, that it is incomprehensible for Himself. But there is one person, Radha, who can fully appreciate the beauty of Govinda. To be able to appreciate the greatness and the beauty of God, a real partner is necessary. So we can say that the ultimate Beauty and the ultimate Love, Govinda and Radha, their union is the essence of the whole creation. And we can say that this is the liberation of the consciousness. If we are able to think and meditate over the meeting and the divine union of Beauty and Love, then we are relieved of all the possible contaminations of the mind. This is a beautiful invitation  for all of you to join this very aesthetic ecstasy. 

So Radha and Govinda represent this beautiful supreme union, divine meeting. Radha and Govinda. The name of the Supreme is very important. To call somebody by their name is important. What is your good name? 

Answer: Martin.  

Swami Tirtha: If I enter this hall and I say, ‘Hey you!’, most probably you will not pay attention. But if I say, ‘Hey, Martin!’, immediately you will pay attention, right? ‘Somebody is calling me’. Hey Govinda! He will pay attention, ‘Somebody is calling me’. Hey Govinda! Therefore, the ultimate liberation of our consciousness is to become a surrendered servant, a surrendered practitioner in this divine union. An omnipotent God and a surrendered servant – they are an invincible partnership. 

To qualify ourselves, we need to pray – so that the blessings come to us, so that the mercy embraces us. Because the best way is to approach this merciful aspect of God.

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.01.2019 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

Around a saintly person the dimensions will change. When we were living together with Gurudev in the same ashram, even from the bus stop I could feel whether he is at home or not. And when you arrive there, full of doubts and questions, when you enter his room, all the questions are gone, all the doubts are gone. And you simply enjoy being around him. You feel this ultimate shelter that we are all searching for. No need for words, no need for explanations. It’s not a question of philosophy. It’s a question of heart-to-heart, deeper understanding. 

Then the moment of separation came. It’s a bitter moment. But actually this is an entrance into eternity. Just imagine yourself: there is not anymore a chance in this lifetime that you will meet the most important person in your life. It’s not an easy moment. But we have an escape. If we cannot associate with the bodily presence of our master, we can always associate with his spiritual presence. When I heard the news of his disappearance, two days later I had to give a lecture – about the eternity of the soul, about the use of spiritual practice. I think that was one of the most difficult lectures in my life ever. When approaching the place, I was crying on the street. But when I arrived, I had to compose myself and give a proper lecture. Because I am sure that he wouldn’t be satisfied with some easy emotional tears. He said, ‘Even if you are in the most degraded state of consciousness, you have to give a proper lecture’.  

May I share one more story with you? You know, a student is supposed to be humble, right? Once Gurudev took me, we were driving in his car and he told me, “Go to such and such city and give a lecture”. And you know, I tried my best to be humble, so I told him, “Ah, Gurudev, I don’t like to go on stage”. He kept silent for a moment and then I felt: maybe something is wrong. He was driving and then he was staring at me while driving, so I understood: oh, big mistake. You know, he was a remarkable person, so when he kept silent, that was the most difficult moment. And then he said, “I didn’t tell you to go on stage, I told you to give a lecture”. So he never ever missed any moment, any chance for instructing you. To break the false humility and to show you what real service mood is – forget about yourself. It’s not you who is important, but the service – that is important. 

I won’t share other stories. But ever since, this is the most important person in my life. His ideals started to be important for me as well. And I hope that his ideals will be important for you also. 

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.01.2019 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

We human beings are made of relationships. Humans are social beings. We depend very much on our connections, on our relationships. They say, it doesn’t matter what you know, but it does matter whom you know. And all those who have been living in the communist system understand this very well. It didn’t matter what you know and what you don’t know, but it did matter whom you know, what connections you have. And actually, this is true in the spiritual sense as well. I don’t say that this is spiritual communism, but anyway, our consciousness and our knowledge is limited, right? We cannot know everything. It’s impossible! You are not the brightest intellect in this Universe. But, if you know the proper person, you are not excluded from salvation. If you are connected to Shri Guru, then you are saved. Not simply to Guru, but to Shri Guru. Shri Guru is the divine aspect. 

Actually, the spiritual master is a direct messenger of the Supreme. And how is a messenger called in Christianity? Angel, right? Angel. So, our master is just like an angel for us. And I just recall the first occasion when my spiritual master visited my home. At that time I was living with my parents. You know, this was a risky time, so we had to apply certain conspiracy principles. Because he was a VIP person for us and therefore we had to make all the possible safety rules and precautions for him. There were two weeks of arrangements: when and how and under what conditions he would come to my home. The parents were trained, ‘you stay in your room’. And then the moment came, the bell rang… And he entered. Fully in white clothes. All white! All white! And I had an impression: one angel is coming to me. This picture is still with me, after some years. 

And what do you expect from an angel? Some blessings, right? But this angel came with some questions. At that time my service was to translate some sacred scriptures from English into Hungarian. And then my angel asked, “How is the translation going?” I said, “Well, this is the maximum that I can accomplish”. And he said, “No, it’s not enough”. Then I understood that this is a demanding angel. 

So, meeting an exceptional person has a great influence on your life. As I told you, we, human beings, we are made up of relationships. For example, all of us are the sons or the daughters of our fathers. This relationship will never change. Even the ascetics are born from a mother. This will never change. Friendships, they will change. Lovers, they will change. It is said, men are easy to forget about their lovers, but they never forget about their friends. And ladies are easy to forget about their friends, but they never forget about their lovers. You see, we are made up of relationships. Some will last for one lifetime. Some for a few moments. But the spiritual relationship to our divine messenger, to our divine master, will last forever. 

And who has the most important and most substantial influence in our live? This is our divine master. Because this connection doesn’t concern only the body or the bodily genetics. It’s not only an emotional relationship, like a friendship or a love affair. This is not a theoretical agreement of certain points. No, this is a soul-to-soul, a heart-to-heart, a spirit-to-spirit connection. Something that will never change. Everything changes around us, right? Sometimes we can say ‘unfortunately’, other times we can say ‘fortunately’. Nevertheless, we need fixed points in our life. And if our commitment to our spiritual leaders, teachers, masters, if this is the fixed point in our life, then we are fortunate. 

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.01.2019 evening, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

Shiva – this name means ‘blessings’. Shiva is famous for many things. He is a very heroic figure. He is a handsome man. And he is the inspiration for arts. He is the demigod of yoga. Also he is an ascetic. And at the same time a great lover. A very strange character! How to understand this blessing and blissful character of Shiva? 

The holy Ganges is touching the Earth through the head of Shiva. From the celestial quarters it starts, then comes on his head, then comes down and reaches us. Why? What is the meaning behind this? Because this sacred river, this sacred water is so powerful that if it would touch the Earth directly, it would smash the Earth. There was a need for someone to protect the Earth from this smashing effect of the heavenly Ganges. And therefore Shiva, who is very powerful, was ready to accept this holy water on his head, in order to protect the Earth. And then from his head it’s coming down to us. 

Of course, Shiva has got many, many very useful pastimes. For example, he is responsible for destructing the Universe. Interesting, huh? A great yogi and at the same time responsible for the destruction of the Universe – how come? Yoga is for creating something nice, right? And then he is destroying something? But we have to understand properly: Shiva is destructive in a constructive manner. He destroys one phase of the Universe in order for it to be recreated in a brand-new phase. So destruction – in order to be constructive. Usually on this planet Earth, in daily life, we are accustomed to constructive theories. We are trained to be constructive. Evolution, for example. Or economic progress, right? But this world is constructive in a destructive manner. Our progress means one step closer to death. So our life, the material experience, is constructive in a destructive manner. While Shiva is the opposite – he is destructive in a constructive manner. Do you see the difference? In order to start a new chapter, you have to close the previous chapter. You have to finish that. 

And how will Shiva end the world? With a dance! Such a poetic manner to end this world! In India, devotees like to dance. We can say that the vaishnavas are also dancing. We are happily dancing on the sinking ship of material existence. But at least we are dancing. So, a poetic way to finish the world. 

Actually, Shiva is also a protector of yoga. And in yoga Shiva is considered to be the topmost level of consciousness, the liberated state of mind. So again, we are back to the consciousness. If we achieve for ourselves this liberated state of mind, then we need to do something. And somebody has to teach us how to do that. Therefore, another symbolic meaning of Shiva is like the general universal spiritual master – somebody who has already reached the enlightenment and therefore he can help others to be enlightened as well. ‘Guru’ means ‘one who dispels darkness’ – such a light in our life, who will dispel the darkness of ignorance. 

And this destructive feature – to finish one chapter, to end the created world, to finish with the creation – is also connected to this liberated state of consciousness. Because if we achieve full liberation, this world will end for us – with all the troubles that we have perceived, with all the limitations that we have come through, with all the hopes and all the failures. Then your consciousness is just liberated, free from entanglement. This is what we need, this is what we are searching for. Therefore, we should come under the protective shield of divine light. And be intelligent; don’t only come sometimes and then go back to darkness. Come and stay – this is the intelligent version. 

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.01.2019 evening, Sofia)

Om namo bhagavate vasudevaya – this mantra is one of the main prayers of this present age. First of all, mantra means ‘a chant’ – something that should be chanted, that should be practiced, repeated. This is made up of two words – manas and trayate. Manas is the mental capacity of a human being. Or we can say, this is the consciousness that we all have. It’s a very important part of a human being. Can you live without a leg? It’s difficult, but you can. Can you live without a hand? It’s difficult, but you can. Can you live without your head? Difficult and not possible. So consciousness, which is somewhere there in the higher chakra systems, is important. This is what makes us a human being, right? We all have a certain developed level of consciousness. Yet in most of the cases our consciousness is conditioned, controlled, under some pressure. Generally we can say that our consciousness is not free, it’s not liberated. But the mantra helps to liberate our consciousness.  

The second part of this word, tra, means ‘to liberate’. Manas trayate – to liberate the mind, to liberate the consciousness. So, try! Try to get a taste for this spiritual practice. And this special mantra works on very specific principles, because this is a protective mantra. I don’t know about you, but I think we all need protection. This is important to feel protected. Do you remember from your childhood when somehow you were missing the protection of your parents? When you felt left alone, without a shelter, estranged? This is a very desperate feeling. But basically, this is not only a desperate feeling for children, but this is a desperate feeling of the soul. Because unfortunately, somehow we are expelled from heaven. We have lost this shelter, this feeling of being protected. Therefore all this human life is a search. Do you agree? All the time we are searching for something. Many times people say, ‘I am open and I am searching’, right? But what does it mean? That means you haven’t found it yet. So, don’t be satisfied with being an open-hearted searcher. Turn yourself into a practitioner – that’s a higher grade. 

So, mantra helps us to come under this divine protection – when we can find our way back home, back to Godhead, to enjoy this eternal home feeling, this home comfort. This is what we are searching for. 

This mantra starts with the om – the universal cosmic vibration. This sound has got the power to create cosmos from the chaos. And sometimes we feel that in our consciousness it is also a chaos. I don’t know about you, but many times I feel like that. Something is not properly in order. When you want to create some order in your consciousness, chant the om. Remember, it can turn chaos into cosmos. 

Sounds – they do have a very strong effect. If someone comes to you with offensive words, the effect is obviously there, right? Therefore if we can resonate the spiritual sound, it will also bring an effect on our consciousness. Om will create the order in your consciousness.  

Namaha is the second word. It means ‘not for me’. It’s very simple. Many times we do things in order to enjoy ourselves. You make some sacrifice, you make some service – in order you to be more happy, more contented. But the art of spiritual science is that if you give, then you will receive. So if you want to receive, first give. Then you will forget about this desire to get more. The motivation will be more polished. Namaha – it’s ‘not for me’, it’s for you, my Lord.  

Bhagavate – bhagavat means the Supreme Lord, God, the Supreme Entity, who is full of divine qualities. And vasudev, the last word in this mantra, is the special feature of the Supreme, meaning this absolutely superior state of consciousness. 

We started from trying to liberate our consciousness. And how can we do that most properly and most directly? If we connect our consciousness with the supreme consciousness. If you are alone, your knowledge is limited. But if you are connected to the supreme consciousness, then your knowledge will be unlimited. So, if you want to know everything, then connect yourself to that one entity who knows everything. We like well-informed people, right? But even the most well-informed person’s knowledge is limited. Let’s search for someone whose knowledge, whose consciousness is not limited. Connect with Him and then you will understand everything properly. This is the purpose to liberate our consciousness – to have complete and perfect understanding of ourselves, of the world and of the purpose of life.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.01.2019 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

Sometimes we fail. We come with full enthusiasm, we try to give our best – and we fail. We go home. We say, “Ah, the spiritual life is not for me. It didn’t work.” And maybe for this whole lifetime you will not return, it’s possible. But you will never forget. Your soul will never forget. And if you have made even only one little step, it is never lost. Even if you don’t make your next steps, this first step is never lost. It’s painful! To see that somebody is not happy in spiritual life – it’s very painful. But to see that others are more happy in their spiritual life – it’s enlivening.
You know, I have a spiritual brother. Whenever I have been observing his example, very ambivalent feelings come into my heart. I was always very envious of him and I was angry. And at the same time, I was rejoicing in his company. May I tell you why? Because he was swimming in the waves of devotion. He was enjoying his faith. He behaved like a boy – jolly and happy and running up and down and singing under the showers, etc. This natural joy of self was always manifesting in his eyes. And I didn’t have that, so I was very envious. How is it that he is always jolly and I’m working hard and I’m not so jolly? But at the same time, it was so inspiring to be with him. He is the example of faith, pure faith for me. I want to follow his example. I consider him as my spiritual superior. So, take the good examples – those who swim in the waves of devotional happiness.
So, whatever we lose, it’s not the real thing. By force we cannot enter the higher realms of reality. There are basically three main practices of spiritual purification. One is tapas, the other is gyana and the third is bhakti. Renunciation usually in most of the cases makes you bitter. Because you want, but you cannot, you want, but you are forbidden – this fight makes you bitter. Knowledge? Knowledge is something that you will lose. A little time and then all the knowledge is gone. And in general knowledge makes us dry. They also say, ‘If somebody knows much, he hates much’. So, it’s a little dangerous – too much knowledge.
So, if renunciation makes you bitter, if knowledge makes you stupid, then what is left? The practices of affection remain. But this is a very secret art. The art of love, the school of love is a very sensitive, very delicate school. A little input and very great effect. A little mistake – big trouble. But also, a little contribution – big result.
Of course, when I first heard that a devotee left, it was very shocking for me. How come? We had found the way to eternal happiness, the perfect spiritual path, etc., etc. – how is it that you leave?! It’s called a bloop. I didn’t understand. I was frightened. But then I had to reconsider this whole situation. And I don’t want to mourn because somebody has gone, but I want to be happy because somebody has spent some time with us, some time with Krishna. It’s only a question of proportions. And it is said, lava matra sadhu-sange sarva-siddhi hoy[1] – for just a small little time in the company of pure devotees you can achieve all perfection. So, the value of a small period of spiritual association is much higher than wasted lifetimes. But for that we need to observe the situation from the other side, not from this side.
Plus one more thing. If we really believe that Krishna is the protector of the devotees, then He will not give up His devotees. Even if they want to give Him up. Sometimes I truly believe that there are special ways how Krishna will guide or take care of certain individual devotees. Maybe He will test us by not showing His face. For other devotees He might test them in an even more difficult manner – by giving them very highly elevated prestigious positions. If you become a world-famous preacher, it’s a big challenge. But Krishna will take care of His devotees. And maybe He will lead us, any of us, through ups and downs of life. But I truly believe that He is a good Lord, who will never give up a good servant. “Glorious is the master who never gives up the servant and glorious is the servant who never gives up the master”[2]. 
Question: And what about the bad servants? Will the good master take care of them also?
Swami Tirtha: Well, there are only two types of people –devotees and future devotees. And there are only three types of devotees – good, better and best. So… there are no bad servants to be taken care of.

1. Chaitanya Charitamrita, Madhya 22.54
2. Chaitanya Charitamrita, Antya 4.46

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.01.2019 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

Question: I just want to ask about something you spoke of yesterday. It was about love – that it comes and it goes. Most of us have experience about that. While divine love, you said, when it comes, it never goes away. But I’ve heard some stories and I saw some bhaktas who fall away, they just disappear. And my second question is about perfection: you said about three ways towards perfection and that actually our way is mainly through kripa, mercy. And I want to ask about sadhana. Can we have too much sadhana, which is making us fall away? Because I spoke with some bhaktas and some of them gave me examples – someone is so dedicated and becomes more and more tired, and then just disappears. Because different bhaktas are sometimes sharing their experience. For example, Prabhupad said to one bhakta, “When you do it, you develop love.” But can we do it too much without being prepared, doing sadhana without love, and actually get the opposite? Like getting tired and going away. 

Swami Tirtha: Oh, so many questions. Let’s start at the beginning. I think basically your two different questions focus on the same problem: whether we have something or we don’t have anything. Spiritual achievements are so delicate, so hidden, that it is very-very difficult to measure them by any means that we have. Due to our material life and conditioning – in studies,  in this competition spirit – we always want to measure things and achievements. Humans organize Olympic games to measure the achievements. By the way, that’s a total failure, it’s a business, it’s not sports anymore. It’s chemistry and business – how to make more money. If your national chemistry is ahead of the supervision, then they can invent those chemicals that will make you run faster without being noticed. So it’s got nothing to do with real sports. And therefore my humble suggestion, if we want to improve, is let’s go out and walk or run or wrestle without all this business involvement and then kick out all the television when they start to propagate this as sports events. Come on, this is totally fake! 

Sorry, I am a little emotional, because illusion steals all the best ideals that we have, it corrupts the best ideals. But we are trained to measure things. And what is the meaning of maya? If you try to measure God – that’s illusion. So if we try to measure our spiritual achievements – how many rounds have I performed, how many books have I sold, how many I don’t know what have I accomplished – that’s this Olympic spirit. It’s not enough. With this we cannot buy Krishna, we cannot buy divine love. It’s not enough. So we have to get rid of this achieving and measuring mentality. Because Radhika is very delicate. The more you want to capture Her by force, the more She is running away from you. 

So, if this inner transformation doesn’t happen, but you try to show all the external symptoms of a devotee, sooner or later something might happen. It’s not enough to show the external conditions or requirements, but we need this inner transformation. Bhaktivinoda Thakur said that the problem of this age is that there are no selfless preachers. From this we can understand that even the preachers sometimes have this mentality, this competition spirit – how to measure devotion. We have to be very careful about this thing. Because the real transformation will happen in the heart. And why is the heart hidden – and now I am talking about the spiritual heart – why is the heart hidden so deep in the constitution of a human being? So that only the chosen ones and Krishna can read the heart. But He can read it, they can read it. If we are not sincere, they can read this. Even if you perform all the rituals. If externally you show that you are 108% devotee, but internally nothing happens – they can read it. But they can read the opposite as well: you look like a very weak human being, fallen, full of mistakes and shortcomings and lack of knowledge, but if there is one drop of sincerity there in your heart, you will be saved. We cannot buy Krishna with any qualities and achievements that we perform. We cannot. 

Once somebody told me, “The holy name has become bitter on my lips”. And it was very shocking for me, because we have understood that the holy name is very sweet. How is it bitter for him? So next time when I met a godbrother of my Gurudev, a very elevated superior, I asked him this question. Then he was staring at me and finally said that “If it has become bitter, it was not the holy name”.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 05.01.2019 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

I think so far we have received very inspiring spiritual advice. But as we have started our discussion about the ambitions of life, the last question of Mahaprabhu to Ramananda Raya concerns this: “What is the fate of those who seek liberation and of those who want to enjoy life?”
Harilila: Everyone gets what he or she is searching for.
Swami Tirtha: Yes. So, what do you think?
Krishna Priya: Those who want to enjoy, they receive suffering instead.
Swami Tirtha: No! No, I cannot agree with this. But, what about the seekers of liberation, what will they receive?
Krishna Priya: Liberation from triple sufferings.
Swami Tirtha: Well, it is said, “Those who want to achieve liberation, they will be born as trees. And those who want to enjoy life, they will be born as demigods.” Of course, you can say that it is a hellish life – to be a demigod, full of suffering. But, there is also something to do about cosmic affairs as a demigod. Yet, what is the message here? If you want to achieve liberation – without the service, without the loving attachment to God Supreme – you will be fixed in one place. It is not real liberation, you will receive the opposite. And if you want to enjoy, then you will receive some enjoyment, but with some more duties, more responsibility. Therefore, we need other ambitions which will be fulfilled in a more proper manner, so to say. So, this was something about human ambitions.
Try to remember this list of questions and answers, so that you can cherish the highest possible spiritual ideals. I think these ideals will help us even in the moments of crisis in life.
Question of Krishna Priya: I don’t understand why those who want to enjoy will become demigods. Because we have heard many times that when we want to enjoy, we actually meet only disappointment and frustration and we cannot get real happiness. How come that you become demigod?
Swami Tirtha: Try and you will see whether you are satisfied or frustrated. What is the definition of a demigod according to the Krishna Book?
Krishna Priya: Those who are engaged in service of God.
Swami Tirtha: Correct. Tat-priyartham – demigods are those whose only goal of life is Krishna’s happiness. So, it is a very high possition. To serve God – this is the supreme happiness, the supreme enjoyment. Our Krishna is enjoying. And if you come into His company, He will share His happiness with you. If so far you perceive only frustration, then maybe you should polish your association a little. Because Krishna is a happy God. And if you become His devotee, you will also be a happy devotee. A sad devotee doesn’t exist. One is one and the other is another – it doesn’t fit together. Because devotional life means that we live according to our original position sat-cit-ananda – ananda is included in all the bhakti practices.
Once I met a very senior person in Mayapur. He came to our room. He spoke practically only Bengali and we didn’t understand any Bengali, but we had a very nice discussion. Because somehow he expressed that “We are going back to Krishna. And Gurudev told us that in case we are late, he will come and save us. We have a hope!” – he said. You see, it’s so simple. It’s full of this joy of eternal life. “Yes, it’s waiting for us! Let’s go, let’s join. Because Gurumaharaj told us that he will come and save us” – this was his program for this life. He was a fully joyful person. So selfish enjoyment and the enjoyment derived from divine service – that’s totally different.

(to be continued)