Sharanagati

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 10.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)
Pure bhakti is free of contamination. And this is a favorable cultivation of spiritual practices. Therefore we try to follow all the instructions. Like sanctifying your food; because that’s an energy input. If you put disturbed energy in your body, it will disturb your mind – it’s very simple. But it’s not only the physical foodstuff that you put into your body, it’s the mental foodstuff that you acquire in your mind. There you also have to be selective. Avoid conflicts, avoid bad news, don’t bring the bad news. To serve this inner mental purity, one main advice is: don’t bring the bad news. We can basically conclude that this whole information revolution is based on bad news. Everybody is spreading the bad news, the conflicts, the scandals. Why should we be part of that general way things happen?
So, be selective in your mental input. Then you can be selective on your mental output – it’s also important. But then we can say you have to be very selective on your spiritual energy input as well. Take the best, not the second class. And the Master Beinsa Duno had a very good piece of advice. Well, it’s a little difficult for the fellow brothers who are here, but it’s very charming for the ladies who are present. Because he said that if your husband wants to buy you a diamond ring, don’t be satisfied with some secondary grade diamond ring, you must desire the best one. So, what did you learn in today’s lecture? Give me a first-class diamond, right? I’m sure you will remember this. Poor brothers, sorry to tell such an advice. But if we take the message here: whatever you do, don’t be satisfied with the second class, with the second grade – activity, ambition, goal, whatever. Always take the best. Because if you take the best, you will be able to give the best. Pure teaching from a pure source towards a pure devotee – that’s the best combination.
Favorable service means this – you give your best, pure, essential. And what is the best part of a human being? This is a question.
Answers: The heart. The soul.
Swami Tirtha: You know, actually we have only two possessions in this lifetime. Prana and prema – our life and our love. This is the best what we have. And actually, this is what we have to dedicate to the Divine Couple. Don’t preserve it for yourself. It is said, what you don’t give is what you will lose. Sooner or later we shall lose it; so it’s better if we give it. Favorable service, free of any contamination – this is called the topmost love of Godhead, the topmost bhakti.
And one more very important point is a verse quoted by Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, our Savior: atah shri-krishna-namadi na bhaved grahyam indriyaih sevonmukhe hi jihvadau svayam eva sphuraty adah[1]  – “The transcendental name, form and qualities of Krishna is impossible to be understood by the limited sense organs. But if we can develop a kind of service mood, sevonmukhe, it’s possible.” This will invite Krishna to reveal Himself. Why? Because He is satisfied with these services. So here you see the key to success in spiritual life. It’s not simply your endeavor – it’s included, it’s a must; but mercy will make it functional. And by this service mood we can overcome the limitations of our senses, of our understanding, of the diabolic disorientation. And then we shall be able to go according to the proper order. To pet the cat from the head to the tail. With all my humility I ask you, whenever next time you pet a cat, remember that there is a proper order of divine service.
Mahaprabhu says, kirtaniyah sada harih[2]  – “All the time glorify the Supreme”. How to do that permanently? Well, for that we need a total kind of purification. So that not only the physical mouth will chant the holy names in a fixed practice, but it is possible that even our biological functions and the rhythms of our body are in tune with the supreme reality. The heartbeat of a devotee tells a different story than another person’s heartbeat. Ra-dha, Ra-dha, Ra-dha, Krish-na, Krish-na – this is the heartbeat, this is the pulse of a devotee. Give a chance to Krishna to enter your life and He will do the rest.
Atah shri-krishna-namadi – by the senses you cannot capture Him. Vedeshu durlabham[3]  – it’s very difficult to reach Him in the Vedic theory. But atma-bhaktau – by dedication of the self, it’s easy to come in contact with the Supreme.

(to be continued)

1. Chaitanya Charitamrita, Madhya, 17.136
2. Shikshashtaka 3
3. Brahma Samhita 5.33

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 10.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)

These days, we were trying to remember a few teachings about the power, the beauty and the purifying power of the holy name. And we agreed that our process starts from the initial faith and ends up at the accomplished state of divine love. But what is devotion proper? What is dedication proper? Shrila Rupa Goswami gives a proper definition of pure bhakti, pure devotion to God: anyabhilashita-shunyam gyana-karmady-anavritam anukulyena krishnanu-shilanam bhaktir uttamam[1]. So, “Uttama bhakti, the topmost love of Godhead, is a special type of service to the Supreme Lord, which is not only favorable, but free from fruitful activities, impersonal meditation and all other selfish ambitions”. So, pure devotion is free from any contamination. It’s an eternal practice, not touched by the evils of the present day. Therefore, we have to be careful how we approach this process. Our approach must be pure as well. Try to be as pure in your endeavors as possible; and then a little bit more. One step further, push your limits.

Gyana-karma – no mental speculation and no fruitful results should contaminate our search for Krishna. And anukulya, that means favorable. Anukulya, favorable, means according to the proper order, according to the value hierarchy of things. What does this mean? Let’s take a simple example. It is acceptable if the husband belongs to a higher caste than the wife – this is called anuloma marriage. If the wife is from a higher caste and the husband is from a lower caste, this is pratiloma marriage – against the proper order. Well, how to understand pratiloma? If you have a cat, immediately you will understand. How can you pet a cat? The direction of petting a cat is from the head to the tail – this the cat will like. If you try to pet the cat from the tail to the head, your cat will run away. So, petting the cat from the head to the tail is anuloma – according to the proper order, as the hairs of the cat are growing.

So, what is pratiloma? Pratiloma is the diabolic disorientation – when we don’t know the proper direction. When our service to God, our mentality is against the proper order. If the lower position will take a higher position – that’s against the order. And what is anuloma, the proper petting of the cat? This is the divine orientation – when you do the things as they should be done. There is an order behind things. Nothing is by chance. Sometimes we don’t see this intrinsic order, but it doesn’t mean there is no order.

So, Krishna’s service must be favorable, according to the current. And how to create that more and more favorable environment in our mind, in our consciousness? How to achieve a higher and higher level of harmony between ourself and the Supreme? Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. Pure prayer and later on a pure glorification will purify your heart in the necessary proportion.

Question: You said “pure prayer and later on pure glorification”. Can you say something about this?

Swami Tirtha: What I meant is that at first usually we perform spiritual activities for our own benefit: ‘I want to purify myself, I want to eliminate my karma, I want to get enlightenment’, etc. This is not bad, because it’s a realistic start. Because even in our spiritual endeavors and our spiritual desires we depend on the superior reality, so we want our enlightenment from there, we want our spiritual fulfillment from there. But later on we have to forget about ourselves and turn our prayer into glorification. For a long time the story starts and ends with us. But actually, this story starts and ends with Them. This is where we have to arrive. Then our mantra is not a prayer for self-purification, but rather collecting flowers in the early morning in the meadow, in order to bring these flowers at the lotus feet of the Divine Couple. Perfection, or to eliminate my karma, or liberation has got no place there. I simply collect the flowers, I’m satisfied. Forget about yourself, just dedicate yourself. It’s called devotional service, give yourself. And I wouldn’t call the first one a selfish prayer, because purification is necessary – but it’s about us. We have to come to “it’s about Them”.

(to be continued)

[1] Bhakti-rasamrita-sindhu 1.1.11

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 10.05.2018, Sofia)

Sometimes we think that we understand something about the importance of our spiritual practices. I doubt that we can fully and deeply understand it, but we need to come closer to this reality. I think we all agree that the ultimate things are always very simple: you are a spirit soul, you belong to God and there is a living and loving connection between you. Is it simple? Yes. And is it easy to accomplish? Yes. Yes, don’t say ‘no’! Say ‘no’ to ‘no’! This is our philosophy – to say ‘yes’. Correct?

Answers: Yes.

Swami Tirtha: Thank you, you learn very fast. Usually, humans learn very slowly and forget very fast. Sometimes it takes 20 years to instruct somebody on one point, and in one moment he forgets it. But Krishna says in the Gita that “My devotee is independent of the general way how things happen”[1]. Usually things happen like this – we learn very slowly and we forget very fast. So, why not change this method? Why not be independent of the general way things happen? What is the general way in the Kali Yuga? Conflicts, misunderstandings, false concepts and also laziness in spiritual affairs – these are the basic characteristics of this age. Why not change the general ways? Why not learn fast and don’t forget? Why not be independent of the influence of the three gunas? Why not avoid conflicts? And not only avoid, but eliminate conflicts. You know, there are three types of people. One is the conflict creator, the second is the conflict avoider and the third is the conflict harmonizer. I think you don’t want to belong to the first class, to create more conflicts – it’s enough. It’s not enough to be an avoider, be a harmonizer. Radiate such a spiritual vibration around yourself, that harmony is automatically created around you.

We emanate waves. Because you are a soul, you emanate spiritual waves. If your consciousness is disturbed, you will emanate disturbed waves. Let’s purify our consciousness to emanate harmonious waves. So why not change the general way things happen? Conflicts, misunderstanding, false concepts and laziness in spiritual affairs – change that habit. You can practice your laziness – concerning material ambitions. You can enjoy your doubts – concerning your doubts. But you should eliminate your laziness concerning spiritual affairs. Small little sacrifice – eternal happiness.

So be independent of the general way of how things happen. How to gain this freedom, this independence? Sell your soul. But not to the devil. While coming here I saw a hotel, its name was Hotel ‘Devil’. Diabolic residence. I thought, ‘Wait a minute, who will take a room there? Hotel ‘Devil’ – who the hell will go there?’ Very strange invitation. But that shows the reality of Kali Yuga around – it’s diabolic. So we can say that there is diabolic disorientation, even concerning spiritual affairs. We must know what to avoid. If you forget about diabolic disorientation, you will end up in the Devil’s hotel.

And how to avoid this diabolic disorientation? We need divine orientation. Do you see the difference between diabolic disorientation and divine orientation? For the first you don’t have to work, it happens automatically. Illusion, forgetfulness, false concepts, conflicts – it all happens automatically. This is the general way things happen. But how to find our divine orientation? My humble suggestion is: try to find this in the Orient, not in the Occident. ‘Orientation’ comes from ‘Orient’. Really, this is not a joke. Proper orientation will come from the East. This is a place of wisdom, this is a place of light, this is a place of sacred tradition. Something very unique is preserved there. Prema-bhakti, for example, is not some Indian stuff; this is a universal concept of love of Godhead. Our faith is not an Indian cult. This is a universal link to the supreme reality. Try to find the light in the Orient.

So, let’s change the history of the universe. Why not? Let’s free ourselves from the general way things happen. Let’s find a favorable expression of our service mood. By the blessings of the holy name, the pure name will reveal itself. And all the other necessary realizations in spiritual life will come. So pray.

(to be continued)

[1] Bhagavad Gita 12.16

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)

Sanatana: It’s not a question. I want to share something from my life. I apologize that I take your time. As a sportsman, I want to explain about enthusiasm. When I started my training, I was six-seven years old. I lived in a small town, but we have a circle of friends and we went in the swimming pool for water polo. For us it was a game and a very jolly experience. Then you enter another age when competitions start. You again have some kind of childish approach, because these are your friends, your team, you have started the competition together with others. When you are a young man, yet another level comes. Then you want to win the championship. I have trained for many, many years and I’m still training. When I woke up, I used to wash my face in the pool. Four, five, six hours training a day. Then the play is no longer play, but it starts to be work. Our goal – not only personal, but of the team and the trainer – is to become champions. There is a responsibility towards the trainer, the team and even the city. And when you enter the national team, your responsibility is towards the country. So to become a champion, you should turn this childish play into hard work, into a goal.

This was one sharing about enthusiasm. The other thing is for my life as a bhakta. In the beginning I was invited to a mountain tracking. It was amazing for me. This realization appeared just now, after your lecture. If we want to see the mountain, we have to reach some peak. But to reach the peak, first we climb, then we go down, then we climb to a higher peak, then again we go down, then we climb to an even higher peak, then go down again, and then we go to another peak. If we can reach the sun, we reach it! This is like our life – not only spiritual, but our normal life is like this. We should know that after the small peak there might be a going down, but then again there will be a higher peak. And we should not be afraid of this going down. While you are going up, you cannot slip, you just stumble. But when you go down, it’s slipping – it goes by itself. There is nothing scary in these moments. We have to have this sportsman’s enthusiasm.

Swami Tirtha: Yes, yes, yes! And you are very fortunate because you have some other water polo players here. You see, this is a real mission – you’ll find everything.

I am really grateful to you for this sharing about the weakness of the heart. Because I think we can all feel the sincerity of the moment. And to speak about these realizations and these little troubles that we have to face on our path, I think it’s very helpful to each other, to all of us. Because don’t forget, all the saints who have gone through these phases are waiting for you. They are waiting for us. And at the end of our road, there is a compassionate God waiting for you to embrace you.

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)

Question: I have a question regarding your lecture from yesterday. You referred to it today when you said we need to accept the things we cannot prove. And I’m very grateful that you brought in a quotation from a Christian bishop. Just to clarify, so I can remember: you said that a religion without mystery is like a religion without God. One of the things I have quite a difficulty to understand is a quote by Shrila Prabhupad that “Krishna consciousness is a science”. How does science go with mystery? And where is prema, when this is a science that needs proving? So I would like to ask you about God’s mercy and science – how do they go together?

Swami Tirtha: I think your question is a topic for a week’s seminar. But if we examine the context a little bit, usually science works in a ‘theory, try, prove, come to a higher understanding’ method. So, usually to move to a higher platform of scientific understanding you have to disprove the previous level. And usually science operates with theories or theorems. Shrila Prabhupada didn’t like this side: “Theory, theory – this is not knowledge! ‘If’ – that means you don’t know. ‘Science ‘means that you know.” So for him, ‘science’ means facts, truths. Not doubts and investigations or failures; no – facts. This was science for him. And in that sense, devotional life is a science, because it provides facts about the supreme truth, the Absolute. In this way he interpreted bhakti-yoga as a scientific understanding of Godhead. It provides facts, truths – not theories.

Of course science in general, especially the natural sciences, concern nature – ‘physis’ in Greek. But the spiritual sciences concern the divine, which is beyond the physical experience, therefore this is called ‘metaphysics’. So the natural sciences you can apply in the realm of physics and so to say the spiritual science you can apply in the field of metaphysics. And if you try to use the instruments and the methods of one field in the other, it will not work. Of course, this sounds very categorical, because there is always some overlap. But basically, the approach in a materialistic science is different than the approach in a spiritual quest. I don’t know if this clarifies the situation a little bit?

Otherwise, another feature of the scientific method is the experiment. And the necessary quality for experiments is that they can repeat and they come to the same results. One experiment proves a fact if it can be repeated and brings the same results under the same conditions. This is called scientific instrument, scientific method. And if we take this into the spiritual practices, it will also work. So, what is the experiment? If you chant the mantra, you will find peace. Some have experienced this. Now, if I repeat the experiment, I also try the mantra, I will also find some peace. Then we can take it as a proven fact.

So in the spiritual sense, in the spiritual process we can apply even some instruments of the scientific method. Of course, it is only the doubting mind that needs proofs and experiments. The inner heart needs something else. Therefore Shrila Shridhara Maharaj says: ”First you have to satisfy your intellect. Then you can go for the inner satisfaction of your heart”. Therefore we need to find such a high philosophy that will blow our mind. Or we will admire it and say, ’Oh, it’s incredibly great!’ Then our mind is satisfied and we can go on with other type of practices.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)

Question of Harilila: You said that to overcome the weakness of the heart, we have to practice enthusiasm; but this is exactly what is missing when we have weakness of the heart.

Swami Tirtha: We should practice enthusiasm in order to avoid the weakness of the heart, so that it doesn’t come. But if irrespective of your enthusiasm it comes, then of course you cannot be enthusiastic, because you are not in the moment. Then you need an enthusiastic company. If somebody is happy around you in spiritual life, just catch their sari and dhoti, and they’ll bring you to the next stage. Therefore sadhu-sanga is so good. Even if you have only one devotee around, let’s say your wife or husband, usually it doesn’t happen that you both are in maya. Usually one is in maya – then the other can come and help. And later they exchange the roles. So we need to find somebody who is in good shape, and then follow him, follow her.

Harilila: So when we are going on the spiritual path, we take this identity, ‘I am the servant of my master’. We were talking before that when we practise some form, even if we don’t feel it, with time we start to fill it up. In this connection, if we are in a state full of different shortcomings, we want to practice positive values, which will start to change us and push away our shortcomings, I would like to hear something practical. Because during the whole Gita Arjuna is praying for enthusiasm. So it’s obvious that it’s not so easy to get this impetus and this mercy, because at the end Krishna says: “Simply surrender to Me”, but in the beginning it’s not so simple. So to be practical, I would like to ask, even if we don’t have enthusiasm, should we practise it a little bit falsely, so that it can come?

Swami Tirtha: Yes, yes, yes, yes, I agree. Sometimes we show the signs of enthusiasm, but we don’t have the essence, we don’t have the quality of enthusiasm. There is a big difference between showing the signs and possessing the qualities. But how shall we achieve the quality, if we don’t practise the signs? So I fully agree with you; first we have to a little over-push ourselves. And if we are in a good environment where everybody knows that this is the initial stage, then nobody is offended, nobody is surprised, but everybody is favorable: ‘All right, yes, yes, try your wings, go!’ But we have to come to a profound level of enthusiasm, when it is not only the external signs, but when this is an inner quality. It will take some time. And usually the enthusiasm of a realized person – I mean not a fully realized maha-bhagavata pure devotee, but a committed devotee – his or her enthusiasm is a little different from the beginner’s. Maybe he will show less signs, but he possesses more quality. And when the moment comes, he or she can show the depths of his enthusiasm. In the beginning we show many signs, but when the moment comes, we fail to practise. And I especially like your rendering of the Gita – that it’s a cry for enthusiasm.

Harilila: I am amazed when I read because Arjuna is really a highly elevated soul and still he doesn’t understand, although Krishna is telling him what to do, and still he says “But please, tell me more, tell me more, tell me more…”

Swami Tirtha: This is not a question, this is an inquiry. Better we develop the quality, it is not necessary to show too many signs.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday) 

Question of Prem Gopal: Are there inner and outer reasons for the weakness of the heart? If there is some period of tama-guna or our karma? Or this weakness of the heart, of the will-power comes from our ignorance and lack of faith?

Swami Thirtha: Of course, there are some external factors and some internal ones. Therefore we need the purification. As long as there is too much influence of the gunas and the karma, we are a puppet. Especially when you feel that you are free, then you are a slave. So, we need a profound purification – to diminish the karma influence, to diminish the guna influence. Even then it will come. And then we need this inner cultivation. Faith – this is something very strong. But you know, usually people, we, have weak faith. We need some proofs for our faith. Because ‘If I get feedback, I am stronger’. But on the higher platform your faith doesn’t need this feedback. Yet this is not the highest platform. The highest platform is when everything tells the opposite and still your faith is not broken. So, find your place, where are you on this scale? It’s no problem, of course we all need feedback. It will help us, no doubt. And therefore we need to provide that to each other. This is also a service. And slowly, slowly, this inner weakness of the heart will diminish. Once we have a real superior taste, we cannot forget that.

And we have to improve our weakness of the heart. Because so far it concerns us, this story is about us. But just imagine, what is the weakness of the heart of a pure devotee? What kind of emotional waves he has got in the heart? Or what is the weakness of the heart of the gopis? Or what is the weakness of the heart of God Supreme, of Lord Krishna? At which point will He feel: ‘Oh, My heart is melting’? Weakness of the heart is not only a lack of enthusiasm, but also a kind of melting. So, improve! We have to improve that weakness of the heart, tenderness of the heart, in the spiritual sense. If Shrimati Radharani doesn’t enjoy the company of Krishna, She feels left alone. And what does She do? She sits on the ground and with Her finger She draws some pictures in the sand. Weakness of the heart? Yes. But this is what we want, you see?

So, on the higher octave, in the spiritual sense, even the weakness of the heart is an incredibly high achievement. Alright, this we cannot prove and we cannot explain, therefore we admire it. But we can have very similar feelings: ‘Oh, my Lord, I’ve been calling You here for ages. Why don’t You come? Why don’t You pay attention on me?’ It’s a bona fide weakness of the heart.

Definitely, to eliminate the external factors and to purify the inner substance so much that less and less negative influences are there – it is very useful. And if you see a devotee, or in general, a human being around you, who has this moment, this weakness of the heart – just go there, embrace them and help. Usually, what advice do we need in such moments? ‘Don’t worry. Just go ahead. Come along!’ – very simple. Compassion. But when can we give this compassion? Only if we know how it is. So, this is a kind of initiation into the mysteries of the hopes of a human soul. Sometimes you feel frustrated in your hopes, but then somebody comes, embraces you and says: ‘Hey! Your prospect is there. Come! Take your share in perfection. It’s waiting for you’. And Gurudev was very precise on that. He said: “To be sad in devotional life means that you are in maya”. Right? Because if you are not enthusiastic, if you don’t feel good about this whole thing, that means your picture is broken. You have lost it. That means illusion. So – positive cultivation.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday) 

Shyama Tulasi: I want to share that recently I have been having such a period that I have lost enthusiasm and inspiration.

Swami Tirtha: Ah?! And this is you when you have lost your enthusiasm?! My God! Not bad!

Shyama Tulasi: Even for one of my favorite services, the morning puja, I didn’t have the desire to put my tilak or gopi-dress, and I was awakening with this thought “Oh, again puja”. And I just was doing the least that I can do. On Sunday programs when I was doing the puja, I was thinking, ‘I’m a hypocrite’. While trying to understand what’s happening, I found this concept of the ‘dark night of the soul’. And when I read more, I found that it’s too early for me to experience this. I wanted to ask if this weakness of the heart is somehow connected to such experiences, and if it is necessarily obligatory to pass through this dark night of the soul?

Swami Tirtha: Yes. Because unless we perceive the darkness, we shall never understand what light is. Unfortunately, we are so badly trained that it’s very, very difficult simply to learn from good examples and positive environment. Many times we need the negative impulse – to come to our senses.

But I was really touched when you said that it’s too early. Unfortunately, it comes on time. And this shows your natural humility. Because even to perceive the difficulties, it’s a high level. But this proves that bhakti is a very strong process. If we apply that process, it will have some very profound effect on ourselves. And to go through all these difficulties – this is the purification process. This is it! When you have to face your troubles, when you have to face your lack of faith, when you feel empty. Then you can build it up. As long as our faith is not questioned, is not challenged, we don’t know whether it is strong or not. So all the great mystics, they know these inner struggles.

Usually we don’t speak about that here in lectures, especially in public. Because usually the life of the people is so full of struggle and pain anyway, that if you say more pain is coming, if you start your spiritual path, more struggle is coming – then who will start? So, we make a little campaign. But if we study the example of the saints and the teachings of the mystics, they will tell all these stories – what we can expect in a good school, in a substantial spiritual path. But, Post tenebras lux – after the darkness comes the light. After the dark Lord comes the bright Goddess.

(to be continued)

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)

Question of Krishnapriya: Concerning the purification of the anarthas, does it mean that when we purify the anarthas, we come closer to our real self and this is self-realization? Could you please say something more about this self-realization? How to realize what are the real things inside us? Because there are many influences all the time.

Swami Thirtha: Yes, no doubt. Anartha-nivritti means to remove your misconceptions. If we focus this expression on the topic of self-realization – to remove all misconceptions. We must ask ourselves some questions. ‘Am I this diseased condition of life? No, I’m not. I’m part of the eternal life. Am I my body? To a certain extent I’m influenced by this, but I’m not my body. Am I a part of matter? I’m influenced by that, but I’m not that. Am I my mind? I’m influenced, but I’m not that. Am I my intelligence? If there is any. I’m influenced, but I’m not that. Am I my emotions?’ – to come closer to the main issue. Because usually, this is where people identify themselves very much: ‘I’m my feelings. I’m this type.’ ‘Yes, I’m influenced by my emotions, but I’m not equal to the emotions that I perceive.’ Other times you identify with your sufferings. This is the meaning of your life. Sometimes people are so attached to their suffering that if somebody comes to help, they are upset: ‘No, no, no. This is me. Don’t take it away from me, because otherwise I don’t exist anymore.’ So, ‘Am I my suffering? Yes, I’m influenced by the suffering, but I’m not that.’

So, if you have this list of questions and if you examine yourself, then you can remove all the misconceptions. ‘Am I a good devotee?’ Remove the false concepts. That’s another layer that you have to clean. But then we must come to some essential identity. If we remove the layers of body, I mean matter, body, mind, consciousness, emotions, whatever material false identities we have, finally we must reach ourselves. Beyond the false ego there must be the real one. From the false ego concept we must arrive to our good selves. It’s a beautiful path. Finally, you will meet yourself. As long as we meet our inner demons, this is not a very pleasant meeting. But if finally you meet yourself, then you will meet a pure soul. Because I am a soul. I have a soul identity. I am a part of the divine reality. Amritasya putra[1] – you are born of amrita. You are sons and daughters of the nectar. So don’t be satisfied with anything less than nectar!

But to carry on and to accomplish this very intense self-analysis – it’s not easy. Therefore, it helps if we find different spiritual identities for ourselves during the path of this purification. I give you an example: to find atman, yourself, to come to your atma-tattva, is difficult, this is a very high achievement. Brahma-bhutah prasannatma na shochati na kankshati[2] – to come to the brahma-bhuta platform, where you identify yourself as your ultimate spiritual atman, is a long path, it’s a high achievement. Therefore meanwhile we must find a satisfying answer to the question, ‘Who am I?’ Because to this question you don’t answer, ‘Well, I’m a wealthy guy, or I’m this, I’m that’. You have some spiritual understanding, so you will say, ‘I’m a seeker, I’m a practitioner, I’m a soul’. But to say that ‘I am atman’ is not realistic, because you are not there. Give me some realistic identity that I can work with. I have a suggestion for that. ‘I’m a servant of my spiritual master’ – this is a long-standing identity that you can work with very profoundly. Because that will help you to identify that ‘My life doesn’t belong in any other place, it belongs here. My perspective is not somewhere else, it’s here’. This is the identity: ‘I have something and I belong here. I am this, and I belong here’. I think this is a very good working theory for a long, long, long time. And meanwhile, because I’m following the proper path and I’m trying my best, I’m doing my services, etc., etc., I will come closer to my ultimate, final identity – the atman.

We need to acquire the conscious self. But then what to do with our conscious self? I have my conscious identity in my hands, but… We have to give it at the lotus feet of the Divine Couple – this is surrender. Self-realization can be achieved by many. But if we dedicate ourselves to Krishna service, it’s a more precise, more focused, more essential achievement of self-realization. So, what can we lose in our spiritual practice? Only the false concepts; otherwise you will only gain.

(to be continued)

[1] Shvetashvatara Upanishad 2.5

[2] Bhagavad Gita 18.54

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)

Question of Krishnapriya: I want to ask about this weakness of the heart. Isn’t it similar to the feeling of emptiness?

Swami Tirtha: Emptiness is very good. Emptiness is very good, because that means no filthy things inside. Guruji comes and says: “I want to give you some nectar”, but you say “Oh, my cup is full. Thank you, I have no place for nectar”. First you have to empty the cup. When Mahaprabhu comes and says: “Oh, I have the treasure of divine love. I want to implement this into your heart”, your heart is not empty, but rather full of different curiosities that you have collected through lifetimes – skeletons of lizards, some weird objects of voodoo magic – we have collected so many stupid things. “Sorry, Mahaprabhu, there is no place. I am full.” You are not full, but you are a fool! So emptiness is not bad by itself, but if we perceive this as bad, then it’s bad. Emptiness is also a kind of purification.

But maybe you meant this feeling of loneliness, feeling abandoned or stranded – when we don’t have the spirit, right? In mystic literature it’s called ‘the desert of the soul’. Don’t be surprised if you have to face such an experience. Because this kind of spiritual loneliness and spiritual absence of any fulfilling substance is a natural phase of a spiritual progress. When we feel that ‘I have tried to offer and sacrifice anything and now I have nothing. I’m lost’. Such an inner emptiness is this kind of feeling. It’s called ‘the desert of the soul’. But we shouldn’t be lost in the desert, we should cross this desert.

Premprasad: The television – what is the negative and what is the good in it?

Baladev: Is there any good in it?

Premprasad: I know that there is no good.

Swami Tirtha: Then why do you ask? No, it’s a very good question. Because we were discussing the weakness of the heart, right? And television, or any kind of mass media and communication, is a very strong factor in the weakness of the heart, like an external factor. What is the television called in devotional circles? The one-eyed guru. You see? Because we pay attention there. For hours we are ready to listen. It occupies a very distinguished position in our room. And whatever is transmitted to us, we take it as truth: ‘I have heard it on the television’. So what? If you read something in the Bhagavad Gita or the Bible, they will say: “No, it’s an outdated source of weird information.” But the good thing about the television is that you have to pay the monthly fee.

Baladev: Good for whom?

Swami Tirtha: It is good for our training. If you want to receive a message, you also have to give something. You give your attention, you give your money, you give your faith. Usually all this external information corrupts your inner faith and structure. Because they transmit worldly information. In most cases, the scandals. Why waste our time with such stupid stuff?

(to be continued)