Sharanagati

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.01.2019 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

Krishna Priya: What do we have to renounce so that we can become purified? 

Swami Tirtha: Selfishness. In one word. Once a devotee asked Gurudev, “Gurudev, please tell me, what’s wrong with me? What’s my real problem?” It was not me, so don’t enlarge the Tirtha Legendary. Gurudev kept silent for a while, then he said, “As in all other cases, false ego.” So, ultimately, this is what we have to get rid of – this false identity and everything that is connected to it: ‘I am big, I am small, I am young, I am old, I am a man, I am a woman. I can, I can’t’ – this is all connected to your false identity. In another word, we can say that this is a limitation on human consciousness and we need freedom in that sense. But freedom has got a price. 

Sometimes people ask, “What is the price of your achievements?” It’s a reasonable question, right? You know, Shrila Shridhara Maharaj gave a very profound answer. In the beginning we understand that no risk means no gain. Then we try to start our spiritual journey and all of a sudden we feel: ‘All risk and no gain! I have to sacrifice everything. I heard it at the first lecture, ‘total surrender!’. And then they added that ‘unconditional mercy’. If it comes – good, if it doesn’t come… All risk – I have to surrender; and no gain – maybe nothing will happen.’ Then later on, if you are more realistic in your self-analysis, you will understand, ‘Some risk, some gain’. And when you are accomplish and you look back, you will see, ‘No risk, all gain. I didn’t lose anything. But I had gained everything that is possible.’ 

So, this is what we have to get rid of – this false identity and everything that is connected to this. Once I heard about a preacher; in his high days he had a big entourage. Many people were following and serving him, he was the famous preacher… And then all of a sudden things have changed and he had to knock on the doors as a beggar. No helpers, no invitations, no long waiting list for his darshan (personal meeting), but he had to knock on the doors as a humble beggar. Which situation is more beneficial? It’s obvious, right? It’s much better to be a humble beggar than a puffed-up renunciate. This should be our profile. 

And also, when we think, ‘Ah, I am so insignificant that I shouldn’t take part in this specific service’. That’s also your false ego, right? Once a devotee told Shrila Prabhupada, ‘Prabhupada, I am your most insignificant servant’. Then Prabhupada said, ‘My dear, you are not most in any respect’. You see, we want to be great in something – great in greatness or great in insignificance, but ‘I want to be great’. Krishna is merciful enough to crush all our false concepts. 

Just like in the case of Brahma, when he applied for his darshan with the Lord and he told the gatekeeper, “I am here, let me in”. “But who are you?” “I am Brahma. You know, I am Brahma. So, just report I am here.” Then the gatekeeper came back: “They ask, “Which Brahma? Which Brahma from the many?” And then he was let in and he was amazed. He had four heads; and there were some similar to him with one head, two heads. But he saw others – with ten heads, hundred heads, thousand heads. Then he had found his position. Right, sometimes we need to face realities. Then he became a little humbler. ‘All right, I am not the Brahma. I’m just a small Brahmche’. So, whether you are great or small, you can have this false identity; basically, this is what we have to remove. 

And in devotional life, this is not a painful renunciation or self-torture – achieve your real self by cutting your limbs – no. No, simply eat prasadam, sing, dance, chant. In this way your real identity will reveal itself. Shall I tell you a secret way of purification? It is said that the best way to get rid of your bad habits, desires and all the false concepts – this is kirtan. And not simple kirtan – dancing kirtan. And not simple dancing kirtan, but jumping kirtan. Because it is said, when you jump with hands raised high, through your fingers all the bad is just thrown away, you get rid of all the contamination. Therefore if we observe any picture of Mahaprabhu’s sankirtan party, they always dance like this. Not to be purified, but for instructing us. 

So, in bhakti this self-analysis and purification are sweet. I have a friend who asked, “Is it possible to crush the false ego in a mild manner, in a gentle way?” It is possible. But even then it will be a little painful. Because our attachments are there. 

(to be continued)