Sharanagati

(from a talk of woman’s roles with Swami Tirtha, 13.08.2018, Ludashto)

(continued from the previous Friday)

Manjari: I have a question about woman’s surrender. Many times we have seen how a woman gives herself completely, but loses the respect and even the love of her husband and sometimes of the children. Where are we wrong in this situation and what could we do? And what to advise others around us so that this does not happen?

Swami Tirtha: Very nice, thank you for this question, this topic was on my list. First I’d like to quote a very interesting person I heard in his lecture. This lecture was about healing and practically it was for women. He was very favorable and very protective of the ladies, very much understanding, but he also mentioned something. He said: “If your husband starts to become a drunkard after ten or fifteen years of your marriage, think for yourself what is your mistake.” It’s not only the other, a family is always together. It is said: one person is enough to break a family, but to make it successful, it needs two. 

Is it easy to acquire a man?

Krishna Priya: Yes.

Swami Tirtha: Wow! I have to give a very strict lecture. And is it easy to keep them? 

Krishna Priya: Maybe not so much.

Swami Tirtha: You see? So don’t go for the easy job. Because it’s easy to catch someone. Maintain! To catch somebody is rajas, to lose somebody is tamas, to maintain a relationship is sattva. Please come to the sattva platform. Don’t use your talents on rajas – it’s brutal, it’s not nice for you. Don’t be a fool to lose the treasure that you have acquired, that is stupid. Be dignified!

And we are speaking only about these material qualities, it’s not spiritual, right? But if your practice is wrong, you will have a very bad result. If your practice is good, you will have a good result. Then it’s easier to make the next step – to spiritualize the whole affair.

So what the mistake is, I cannot tell. But this is my advice: if you want to maintain anything – be it a family, or health, or mission, or faith, whatever – act on the sattvic platform. Because what is the result of sattva – knowledge and happiness. Everybody wants to be happy, everybody wants to be knowledgeable. Then find the proper method. 

Shyama Tulasi: I would like to ask Gurudev for a little more guidance on dignity. I understand the dictionary definition on an intellectual level, but it seems like internally I cannot understand it.

Swami Tirtha: To put it in another word, dignity means you have a program for this lifetime – you know what to do. It is said: “For a ship which doesn’t know which port it is facing, there is no favorable wind”. Do you want to be such a ship? No, then you will be lost anyway. But if you put it in a positive way, if a ship knows which direction it goes – any wind would be favorable. Any wind! But in my understanding it means to have a time schedule for your life; not only goals to achieve, but also timeframe, a time management in your life. It is very interesting that this small little girl Ana is here. She is five years old and she has all the seeds of her future kids in her body. I don’t want to say she’s got a biological bomb inside her body, but that she is destined for something. And the time will come where it will be activated for her. This urge is so strong that it’s almost irresistible. Why? Because Mother Nature wants to nurture the future children. 

This is what I mean – a timeframe. Certain time periods are there in our life. You as women are carriers of life, of the mystery of life. Without you it’s impossible. So turn it into a sacred service – not a simple biological urge, but a mystic service to the mystery of life. But it’s only a part of your existence. Because your body is not only laid with eggs of future life, but you are a spiritual soul also riding in this body. So realize and harmonize these two duties or aspects. One is for the general service of life and the other is for your individual spiritual achievement. It’s another kind of timeframe. 

So one part is in samsara, because you invite new souls to the samsara circle which is, we can say, almost sinful. Because you give so much trouble to others, they will suffer a lot. But you also provide an escape – through this life period they can find a way out. So this is the sacred service. One part is in samsara and the other part is out of samsara, for yourself as well. So try to realize and unite both these duties, both these dharmas.

(to be continued)