Sharanagati

Tirtha Maharaj: You had one dream, do you remember your dream? How was that? The big bird?

Uttama-shloka: We were together with the brahmacharis at that time in my old school in the gym-room. There were Prananath, Jagannath, also Ishvara. I do not know why suddenly we just died on the spot together everybody. But all of us were still present there in our subtle physical bodies, like ghosts. Everybody was about to go to the spiritual world except me. And the others were asking me: “How is it that you are not coming with us?” I remember Prananath was asking me the most: “You were always on the same place where we were; you were always doing the same things that we were doing – how is it that you are not coming?!” And I answered him: “Maybe I was at the same place like you, maybe I was doing the same things like you were doing, but it did not reach my heart.” And then I turned my head down and I thought: “This is my fate.” And one big bird appeared – as big as an eagle that eats monkeys – such a big eagle. Then he just took me with his nails by the shoulders and took me down to hell. That is all.

Ramvijay: And now you are here?

Tirtha Maharaj: I think this must have been Garuda. And you know, when he is so big, it is very difficult for him to take turn, so it is a big turn, first to hell and then to heaven.

But anyway, this story tells me the importance of feelings. We can perform formally everything perfect, but if you do not give your heart, there will be no real effect. But if you give your heart, you will have much problems. Just like we were discussing about Lord Jesus. He was so much ready to sacrifice himself, to show his weakness, that he was killed for that reason. If you are ready to show your weakness, ready to give your heart – because if you  give your heart you open yourself, you show all the weaknesses that you have – many times you will be crucified. Somebody told me: “It is very easy for the kshatriyas, because they die only once. But bramins die unlimited times.” Which is a good realization. You should become bramins! Minimum! To die unlimited times for your own sake and to be born on a higher level of consciousness. Birth is happy. Well, our shastras sometimes condemn birth, but usually if somebody takes birth in a family everybody is happy, everybody is smiling. Only the baby is crying: “Ah, what a fate!” But if we are reborn on our spiritual path from time to time to a higher level of consciousness, then this is really very happy for us also.