Sharanagati

Let us discuss a difficult topic – when with a wrong mentality we create disturbance in our minds. For example when you are very negative about yourself, you can create inner demons for yourself with negative approach. If you say: “I am so fallen, I am so bad, I am so demoniac “– this is your topic of meditation, then it will come to you. You remember the story, I think I have told you, when one person was chanting “Krushna” instead of “Krishna” and “Ramo” instead of “Rama”. He was chanting very enthusiastically and when he died what happened? Two demons were approaching him by the names Krushna and Ramo. He was inviting in his life two demons – Krushna and Ramo – and they were coming. So, if you chant for yourself “Ah, I am so unsuccessful”, you will be really unsuccessful. We can create inner problems, inner traps for ourselves, if we have that type of negative mentality. Therefore if you meditate on the mistakes, you will have mistake consciousness. And in many spiritual practices people use these reins, to control others. “You are born sinful! Your forefathers’ sin is on you!” Come on, I did not do anything! But this sin consciousness or feeling of guilt, guilt consciousness is very strong. Or in devotional circles devotees say:  “Ah, I am so afraid that maybe this is maya! Ah, maybe this is an aparadh!” So they think and speak more of maya and aparadha thanKrishna and glorification. Right, sometimes it happens that we are more focused on the mistakes and on the dangers than on positive things. But that is called maya consciousness, this is not called God consciousness. Just like in other places they speak of the devil sometimes much more than of Jesus Christ. For what reason!? This is not a satanic sect!

So, our cultivation should be proper. If we want to come to maya consciousness, then contemplate on the objects of the senses. But if you want to become really dedicated to God, contemplate on Him and on anything that is connected to Him. Then the clever devotee would say: “Ah, Gurudev, this world is also created by God, so if we contemplate on the objects, we can see the divine beauty manifested here.” Isn’t it? Beware!

Once Vyasadeva had a disciple. He was a strong, strict brahmachari. Vyasadeva told him: “Today I have to go for preaching. I will go out of the asharam.” They were living in an ashram. “So, you stay here, shut the door and do not let anybody in.” “Yes, Gurudev, I will follow your instruction.” All day long he was doing his services, studies, cleaning, puja, cooking – very nicely doing everything –at sunset he was chanting his mantras, and everything was very smooth and very peaceful that day. In the evening he was thinking: “Ah, the Lord’s blessings are coming because some nice clouds are collecting on the horizon. Maybe some rain will come to help the fields to grow more rice.” And a big rain was coming, actually a storm. He started to finish his evening duties when during the big storm outside he heard some knocking on the door of the ashram. He said: “This cannot be Gurudev, because he said he will not return today. Who is that?! Who is there outside?” Then he heard a very tiny nice voice: “Haribol! I am suffering here in the storm. Can you let me in?” The prabhu said: “This is a mataji! Impossible, you cannot enter!  No, this is a brahmachari ashram and Gurudev told me that I should not let anybody in.” “But, Prabhu, my sari is fully wet, I’m so cold, I’m suffering! It’s so cold and the rain is so heavy! I will not enter, just let me in, under the roof.” “No! It’s impossible, you cannot. Get out of here!” But then the story was going on. She said: “How can you be so cruel?! Your Gurudev didn’t tell you to behave in such a wrong manner.” So much so that the prabhu started to think: “Yes, a living being is suffering outside. How can I tolerate the sufferings of others?! And we should not judge according to the body, she is just taking shelter, she is in need… All right, I’ll just open the door and then go immediately.” So he was opening the door and not even paying attention. The lady was hiding in one corner in a room. But later on the prabhu thought: “Maybe she is very cold. Well, maybe one blanket I can give to her. And also there is some little prasadam left from the evening, so maybe I should give the prasadam also.” So, the story was evolving as he started to contemplate how cold she is, how much she needs his help; so ultimately he was knocking on the door: “Let me in!” But then the lady said: “Prabhu, this is after sunset… I’m fine. I do not need your help. Thank you for the prasadam, thank you… I’m fine, I can manage.” But at the end the prabhu could not tolerate that he cannot help this lady, so forcibly he was breaking through the door. And what did he see? Instead of the young lady, an old bearded swami was sitting there. Vyasadeva was coming back in the form of a lady just to test him.

This is a classical story to describe the situation; you contemplate and you start to enter the situation more and more. And then – total forgetfulness. Five minutes – one hour. A little part of my life – everything is taken.

The first problems start when you think: “Yes, I know that maya is very strong. But still, let us test it, just to have a deeper understanding how strong it is.” In the same way we should build up a good, a perfect consciousness, which is also possible. It is not only the mistakes that we can build up in our mind, but we can build up the better part also. If we are really positive, if any difficulty happens we are focused on the solution of the problem. Even if we make some mistakes – because we are human beings and during the process of purification definitely there will be some mistakes – but we should not focus on the mistakes, we should focus on the resolution of the mistakes. Because if we forget to seeKrishnain the end of this whole story, then it is very hopeless. But when we see the beautiful blue light at the end of this tunnel, then we run faster and faster to catch it.