Sharanagati

Question of Yadunath: My question is about integrity. I am concerned that on the path of searching and development one tends to disbalance more and more his qualities. And I believe that we prefer to keep and improve our angelic, divine qualities…

Tirtha Maharaj: Angelic! I like that!

Yadunath:… I sometimes happen to notice that actually in the sun we play nice and happy. Well, when the sun goes down it happens so that we lose our balance and there are some periods that are very unpleasant. I don’t want that and I believe that searching and practicing is beneficial when it is integral and when can be projected in all aspects. So please, give me some instructions, as I don’t want to help the demoniac. And I don’t want to see it in my beloved and close ones.

Tirtha Maharaj: Gold is hidden deep. Deep under the earth and you have to dig deep. I think some of the goldmines are thousands of meters deep. And the gold itself is hidden in the ore. They say that in one ton of ore you find one milligram of gold.

Never mind, we go down deep; we bring the ore to the surface. First what should be done? You have to crush it into pieces – small, small pieces. Then what happens? You have to put everything on fire. And then what happens? All the dirt will come to the surface. Then you have to remove the dirt; and then you will get the pure gold.

So, this is the process. Do not be surprised that if you want to cure a disease first you will be more diseased, more symptoms, more troubles are revealed. But later on the integrity should come, the health should come.

Your question is a little shocking for me, because I see only angelic qualities around me! Yeah, maybe there are some mistakes, but let us forget about this! Because they are not important, they are coming and going; but what remains this is the dedication, this is the divine part. So if we are concerned with the relative aspects of humans, with the relative shortcomings of others, then our vision is not perfect. We can be realistic to say about a thief that he is a thief; but at the same time have the higher vision, the essential vision that he is a spirit soul. In one sense we should always be able to distinguish between the person and the activity. The activity might be demoniac, the activity might be bad or wrong, but the person – never! In extreme wording we can say: hate the sin, but not the sinner.

Yet what you mentioned about the setting and the rising of the sun is just like a horror movie! When the sun is setting the landlord of the castle turns into a vampire, trying to catch another young lady to suck the blood for full satisfaction. Just like the cats – they are handling the mouse for a long time to make the blood sweeter; in the same time the vampire is chasing after the lady for a long time, to make her more frightened, but… he is losing, because the sun is rising and his power is smashed. So, if we dedicate ourselves to our demoniac, vampire qualities nicely, fully, and we give more time to it – then sunshine will come, sooner or later. And before you can bite the neck of the lady the first ray of sun is just touching you and your cursed nature will burn into ashes.

“Udilo aruna…” – the first rays of the sun are there! The night has ended; because the night means darkness. The first rays of the sun are just enlightening that darkness.

Maybe this is a phase, a stage in our spiritual practice that some unknown, unexpected features also reveal. But never mind, we should go on and they will be removed. This is purification – that all your mistakes will come to the surface. You will face yourself as you are. But then, by mercy, the obstacles will be removed.

And we should not forget that all the great ones were tested. Like Lord Jesus when the devil came and offered the whole world to him. Or when he tested: “Well, if you say like this, then jump; divine mercy will take care of you.” Or Lord Buddha; all the demons were attacking him when he was meditating. So, tests are coming but we should face them and yet wait for the higher power to reveal, the higher reality to reveal.

There was one movie, just to show this event – when the devil was approaching Jesus in the desert. His black mantle was long enough to reach the earth; and when he was refused by Jesus, it was short like this. So his power was cut!

We might think that we know ourselves but in most of the cases this is illusion. But we should come to the ultimate level, and this is “jivera svarupa haya krishnera nitya-dasa krishnera tatastha-shakti bhedabheda-prakasha – the original form of the spirit soul is eternal servant of Krishna, because he is marginal potency, similar and different at the same time.”[1]

Yadunath: If we return to the goldmine metaphor; can we say: “Have your mind set on the gold, work hard and be careful not to lose the mine in the big fire”?

Tirtha Maharaj: Well, who is the gold? You are the gold, but covered with the ore – that is the false ego. Somebody goes down to the mine, brings you up and crushes you. Then burns you, puts you on fire; and then finally removes all the dirt. Then he starts to create some beautiful offerings from this gold for the Golden Lord.

So, you are the gold. The mistake is only the ore, the false egotism.