Sharanagati

Question of Hari-lila: Once you told me: don’t mix relations with humans with relation with Krishna. But, at the same time, in all relations I should see Krishna. How not to mix? Where is the border?

Tirtha Maharaj: The border is that you invite Krishna at the lotus throne of your heart. It is reserved for Him. He is the king of your heart. But the king has ministers also. It is suggested for the wife to see Krishna or a representative of Krishna in her husband. And it is suggested for the husband to see a gopi in his wife. And what does it mean: a gopi? A gopi means that she belongs to Krishna. „I am only serving this gopi.”  Just imagine: if the wife sees Krishna in the husband, and the husband sees a gopi in the wife – is not that beautiful, is not that spiritual?! It is very high! And you cannot quarrel with Krishna. And you cannot hurt a gopi. So all the family problems are solved. Fighting and misunderstanding, and hurting each other are finished, because we have a divine connection. I am talking about the ideal situation, not about the present realizations of the devotees. But we must have these ideals also.

You know, these love affairs are a very difficult topic. Now will I mention such a story, yet I do not support that it should be followed. Once a lady, a good vaishnavi – I am talking about vaishnavas, of course – she was too much loving a vaishnava. But, you know, this vaishnava, as a young man, had this bumble bee character – flying from one flower to another, searching here and there and he wanted to change his mind. So what was the reaction of this lady? It was quite a difficult situation; she committed suicide – tried at least. Later the devotees were discussing what was happening, like this, like that… And one said: “She tried to kill herself.” The other said: “Such a stupidity! For this guy!” But it is nice like this, isn’t it!? Otherwise is it possible to love without deep emotions, ready to die?! Of course I do not support that now everybody should start to jump out of the windows… But something we can understand from this. They are so ready even to die for the other. From the material point of view it is stupidity. But if we discuss rasa, then … Radha-Krishna have the same feelings, They are ready to die for each other. They die of separation. When Krishna says: “Ah, maybe I go to Chandravali,” what is the reaction of Radhika?! “No!” – this is only the first reaction. The second reaction is losing all prana, all life energy.

A very high type of emotions is there. I do not support to imitate these emotions. But if you see something, you can evaluate it from the spiritual point of view. And of course now we are talking about marriages of devotees for an example. Sure they have to love each other. Without that it will not work, because you have to accept each other for a whole lifetime. Changing a wife or a husband – for that you must be ready to change the body. Next life you can change. Finished! Naturally you must love, you must appreciate the other person. How can you tolerate somebody next to you, whom you do not appreciate, whom you do not love?! But this deep appreciation is not some blazing fire. It must be living coal, not some hay. If you put some dry grass in the fire – big flames are coming out, but no substance. Our connections should be based on the substance, not on some hay-fire.