Sharanagati

“O my Lord! Where can I find any shelter if You just reject me?!” You are the cause, You are the life, You are the happiness, You are the Lord – where can I find shelter if You do not accept me?! What does it mean? In a hidden sense it means that it is possible that He does not accept you. So, it is a very risky game, this bhakti. Maybe you are doing, you are doing – but He is not responding. After some lecture a person come and his first question was: “How is it that God does not listen to my prayers?” Such an intimate question in the first moment! But then I said: “Ah, I am sure that He has heard even your first prayer; even without telling He hears you.” Because if somebody has this quality of humility, naturally he is very close. Then somebody mentions something about the Holy Name. And he said: “Yes, yes! Maybe I should chant more.” Then somehow Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was mentioned. At that time he exclaimed: ”Ah, He is so close to me! I love Him so much!” Then I understood that this person is accomplished! What else to say? Humble, likes to chant and loves Mahaprabhu!

Still the question is there: How is it that He does not listen to my prayers? How is it possible as it is mentioned that “You might reject me.” This is the game, this is the play. It is not sure. What is sure in life? Life is insecure and death is sure – if you see from this side. Just think from the other side: there is only life eternal. There is no death.

Harilila: As usual I feel some little controversy, but maybe it is a characteristic of God. On one hand it was said that God is running after the love of His devotees; on the other hand even if they give their love, He does not respond?

Tirtha Maharaj: Yes! According to His mood.

Harilila: This means I did not understand anything!

Tirtha Maharaj: Well, Krishna is full, right? He does not miss anything, he does not need anything. If He manifests this feature, we are running after Him. But when He is missing something – the company of His devotees, Radhika, the friends or the cows – then He has the need and He is running after devotees. Because He is a living God; He is not only some theoretical conception, that is always the same without any change, like a crystal – beautiful, but not really moving. Because our state of mind, our mood is changing sometimes, what is the reason for this? This is a reflection; the original mood is also dynamic.

And you know, some dance to remember and some dance to forget. Some love because of unfulfillment, because of missing; others love because of surplus. Do you feel the difference? The connection, the activity is more or less the same, but the cause is very much different. One is in need; the other is also in need of company – to share! You run after somebody to share what you have. Just like Lord Jesus; nobody criticizes him for catching disciples! Right, although he was doing it – going to the fishermen and saying: “Follow me! You should come with me!” This is canvassing! Nobody criticizes him; but if a guru comes and says: “Well, you can take initiation,” everybody says: “Ah, he is canvassing for himself!” Do you see the difference? How much life and times have changed!

But why he was running after the fishermen? Because he had surplus. It is not that he had some need. “I need somebody to take care of me.” No, he was taking care of them!

So, this is the difference; some dance to remember, some dance to forget. Some love due to need, others love due to surplus. You decide to which camp you belong.