Sharanagati

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 09.05.2018, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday) 

Shyama Tulasi: I want to share that recently I have been having such a period that I have lost enthusiasm and inspiration.

Swami Tirtha: Ah?! And this is you when you have lost your enthusiasm?! My God! Not bad!

Shyama Tulasi: Even for one of my favorite services, the morning puja, I didn’t have the desire to put my tilak or gopi-dress, and I was awakening with this thought “Oh, again puja”. And I just was doing the least that I can do. On Sunday programs when I was doing the puja, I was thinking, ‘I’m a hypocrite’. While trying to understand what’s happening, I found this concept of the ‘dark night of the soul’. And when I read more, I found that it’s too early for me to experience this. I wanted to ask if this weakness of the heart is somehow connected to such experiences, and if it is necessarily obligatory to pass through this dark night of the soul?

Swami Tirtha: Yes. Because unless we perceive the darkness, we shall never understand what light is. Unfortunately, we are so badly trained that it’s very, very difficult simply to learn from good examples and positive environment. Many times we need the negative impulse – to come to our senses.

But I was really touched when you said that it’s too early. Unfortunately, it comes on time. And this shows your natural humility. Because even to perceive the difficulties, it’s a high level. But this proves that bhakti is a very strong process. If we apply that process, it will have some very profound effect on ourselves. And to go through all these difficulties – this is the purification process. This is it! When you have to face your troubles, when you have to face your lack of faith, when you feel empty. Then you can build it up. As long as our faith is not questioned, is not challenged, we don’t know whether it is strong or not. So all the great mystics, they know these inner struggles.

Usually we don’t speak about that here in lectures, especially in public. Because usually the life of the people is so full of struggle and pain anyway, that if you say more pain is coming, if you start your spiritual path, more struggle is coming – then who will start? So, we make a little campaign. But if we study the example of the saints and the teachings of the mystics, they will tell all these stories – what we can expect in a good school, in a substantial spiritual path. But, Post tenebras lux – after the darkness comes the light. After the dark Lord comes the bright Goddess.

(to be continued)