Sharanagati

Question: How shall we proceed if somebody is constantly coming to us, giving all his troubles, sharing them into a full extent, not accepting any advice and happily going back? What is the proper attitude towards such a person? I am not an active helper, I am just accepting as a garbage bin.

Tirtha Maharaj: Well, somebody has to do that also. That’s a good transaction, because at least one person is happy. So it is fifty percent gain. May be you are not powerful enough to give better advice. If we polish our hearts, then that reflection can help people. If the spiritual qualities of a devotee are manifested more and more, then simply by his presence he can have a great elevating influence over the others. Simply by his presence the dimensions start to change. And do not forget, the problem that you have heard hundred times and seems very insignificant to you, is the greatest trouble for the person concerned. But if we are able to connect his or her attention to the divine, then sooner or later the problems will stop.

We have a very nice friend in Hungary, she is a simple heart. And she started visiting our programs some almost twenty years ago. Since that time every second week she is writing a letter, sending some poems, telling: “O respected Swamiji, this life is very difficult. I am going on. Faithfully yours…” The same message is repeated for twenty years. And now she has got my telephone number also. Usually on every very simple message, she is calling me minimum three times. Last time the topic was: “A new magazine is open and there will be discount price for the first two days.” And I said: “Thank you very much for the information, this is very important.” Then after two days she is calling again: “Hey! The discount price is on!” So what can I say?! This is her offering. But every time she comes, she brings something. Last time to the lecture she was bringing the crystal vase she has got for her wedding. You see? From one hand, very simple problems or messages; from the other hand she is dedicating the best that she has! What is more important? At the final judgment, what is more important? Definitely her dedication, that she is giving something. Actually I am amazed by her fateful activities. Whatever beautiful, whatever nice she meets, immediately she connects to the devotees and sends it. I think this is her way to express her devotion.

What is our part? Our part is to be patient and tolerant. May be the simple problems of others to you seem to be very elementary and you think: “My problems! May I have personal darshan with Gurudev for ten hours to describe my personal problems, because this is a great problem!” And what will Gurudev say after one sentence? “Stop. Complaining is your nama-sankirtan?! Complaining is your glorification of God?” May be then you will come to your senses: “Ah, sorry, sorry! These problems are not so great.”

I think you understand that we have to be tolerant, we have to be patient with others. And we have to be very serious about our own progress and service.

There is another chance to stop the flow of problems of others. Put some prasadam into the mouth. While eating they cannot talk. So you see? Bhakti is theoretically very well established: be patient, and humble, and tolerant… But sometimes we need a practical solution: give prasadam.