Sharanagati

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 06.01.2018 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Friday)

Question: I have a question regarding expectations towards children. Because in the materialistic culture we say “flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood”. And sometimes, especially the materialistic people, they believe that they continue their experience through their children. And if they have not accomplished something, their children can accomplish it. For example, my mother wanted me to play the violin, because she didn’t become a musician and I played the violin for some time, now I can’t play at all, because I didn’t want to play, only my mother wanted me to play. My question is whether the expectations that parents project on their children have anything to do with real love or just with their unfulfilled ambition?

Swami Tirtha: Well, I have another question: for my sake, can you play the violin for Krishna?

Answer: I never tried. Yes, Maharaj.

Swami Tirtha: I believe in expectations. Because if, for example, Gurudev or my senior brothers didn’t expect me to join, to do, to learn, to practise, to serve, I wouldn’t do so. So I think good expectations are very, very useful. They can help a lot. Or in the mornings and in the evenings you expect that I will give a lecture, right? Maybe this is useful. So I think expectations are good, but we must have proper expectations – towards ourselves and towards our environment. There is a very good example of a father’s expectation to a son in our tradition. This was the father of Shrila Prabhupada, who had two main expectations to his son. What was the first? That he becomes not a violin player, but a mridhanga player. A perfect mridhanga player. And what was the second?

Paramananda: To become a great devotee of Radharani.

Swami Tirtha: Correct. So we must have the proper expectations. Then the sons will grow to fulfil them. If our consciousness is based in spirituality, then we shall have good expectations. Purity is the key. If we have a pure consciousness, then can we have bad desires or harmful relationships? No, impossible.

I do believe in expectations; but definitely many times we project our unfulfilled desires over our children. And I am also like this. I couldn’t become a good devotee, but I expect all of you to become good devotees. What I couldn’t accomplish, you should do. Do you let me have this expectation?