Collected words from talks of Swami Tirtha


Question of Rukmini: My question has two parts. The first part is how to prepare to be such a mother like Sachi Mata? Because we are always expecting this separation…

Swami Tirtha: Do we? I thought that we live in separation and we expect the union? Maybe you are different. You live in union and expect separation?

Rukmini: No, no. I don’t have sons, so…

Swami Tirtha: Maybe this is the way to prepare to become such a mother. Because if you have daughters, you will have son-in-laws also, but if you have sons, you will lose them! Ahh, that is the pain of the mothers! Therefore to be a daughter-in-law is a very difficult role. Because you have to take the son of a mother. Therefore this archetype problem between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law originated from this – who possesses the son. Because ladies always want to possess and dominate the men. One tries to dominate like a son, the other tries to dominate like a husband, but they want to dominate over the boys. Poor boys, they are under feminine control. And if they are running away from this: ‘Oh, I had enough from all these troubles caused by ladies around! I want to become a sannyasi!’ then they will get the teachings: “Embrace the feminine principle.” Again! Show me one religion where even the males want to be born like females next time. Because our ambition is to become like a…

Yashoda: Gopi?

Swami Tirtha: I wouldn’t specify, but something like this. But anyway, it is possible if we have such ideal, then we can grow. Second part?

Rukmini: Second part is how to reconnect to a person? If we are a mother of a son who is leaving the house, or if our beloved one belongs to somewhere else? How to reconnect?

Swami Tirtha: Cook nice.

Rukmini: We are always trying to stop someone from leaving these days. We are supposed to try not to stop, but… it is impossible.

Swami Tirtha: Yes, it’s according to roles – you have to stop, but they will leave.

Rukmini: Yes. But how to manage these feelings that are devastating? For a woman, wife or mother that experiences such separation… How to cope with this feeling of separation from our beloved one, who is leaving no matter how we are trying to stop him?

Swami Tirtha: It is said that a human character is a mythic role. That means, as we progress in our lives, we face and we enter certain different, different archetype situations. For example you: first you are the daughter of your mother, then you become the wife of your husband, then you become the mother of your children, later on you will become an elderly dignified lady, I mean like really a head of a family. So, these are different roles that we have to accomplish nicely. “Hamlet” is always on the stage, but from time to time different actors are playing the same role. In the same way somebody has to be a mother, somebody has to be a lover, somebody has to be a wife, a man, a hero, a fallen guy, a Judas, a Jesus – somebody has to fill up these roles. And we are put into our small, little private Universe, where we have to accomplish the God-given role. We always had to act according to these roles. Therefore the mother will ask even the grown-up son: “Are you fine, are you secure?” Although the son should take care of his mother, instead the mother tries to take care of the son. Because this is her role, archetype role. What is the archetype role of the son? To revolt: “Stop, mother! I am a big boy already! Forget about my breakfast”? No! To accept this. This is rasa. If you take that role in a divine perspective, if you fulfill that role in a divine perspective, then this is a question of rasa, reflection of rasa.

But meanwhile, we have to search for the ultimate role, the primordial archetype role – and this is daso-ham. And that divine archetype role we can also experience in our lifetime – like students, like practitioners, like masters, like servants, like pujari, like preacher, like listener, whatever. That means we go together, whatever role we have, we have to accomplish here according to this distribution. We have to do it because we belong together. Without an audience there is no use of a lecturer, or without the lecturer there is no audience. Both parties are necessary – those who lead and those who follow. So, beyond all these different so to say material engagements and these roles, we always have to keep in mind our primeval, original role and we have to focus on that. If you are a young mother or father, you cannot focus on that, because you have to focus on your baby. This is such a new experience, right. It erases everything else, it engages you so much. But don’t forget, Krishna is always there in the heart of your new sons and daughters. So, He is playing the different tricks with you.

So how to become a good mother? Become a good bhakta, then you will become a perfect mother. And you will become a perfect son, and daughter, and father, and friend, and lover, and disciple, and guru – if you become a good bhakta. This is the solution. The key is in our hands. It has been distributed to us by our masters; we only have to apply the method.

Rukmini: So, to reconnect become a good bhakta?

Swami Tirtha: Yes. Why? Because who is in the heart of Krishna? Pure devotees are there, and who is in the heart of a pure devotee? The other devotees. One more question?

Question of Kripadham: You said that for communication there are needed both parties: one who listens, and one who talks. Why it happens like this in the world that we don’t want to accept our role, but we want the other role.

Swami Tirtha: I don’t know! This is stupidity and then you will be dissatisfied. I think this shows a kind of lack of deeper understanding. We have a proverb that: “The grass in the neighborhood is greener”. So, human beings are always like this – what they have it’s not enough, it’s not satisfying. ‘My service is so complicated, but his service, I could do his service so nice.’

But if we detect this pattern in our way of thinking, then we have to work very hard to change that. We have to learn the art to be satisfied with what is provided and given by the Supreme Lord. Because once you have dedicated your life, He will take care – whether He provides you happiness and an easy life or He provides you difficulties and shortcomings. If you had given your life, then He will take care and He will supply you, dose you according to your needs. But human beings have this second, acquired nature – they are not satisfied. We should return back to the spiritual consciousness sat-chit-ananda – you are eternal, you are conscious, you are happy. Anything else you need? So, we only have to return back to our spiritual identity. This is the art of happiness, the art of living.


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