Sharanagati

What is the best way that we can help other people? What would you like to get – a constructive critic or some understanding? You should achieve some mercy. One drop of mercy can change you immediately. Whatever cannot be achieved by hundreds of lifetimes, a little mercy can change in a moment.

But don’t forget about the three steps of spiritual communication. The first step is understanding. Because understanding means you are ready to give an ear to the problems of others. May be you do not actively contribute, but at least you give the chance to others to express themselves. In most of the cases this is a good start – people NEED a chance to express themselves, to speck out the difficulties.

The second is compassion. Compassion means that you not only listen to the problems, but you are ready to share them. And you know, problems work in a very strange way – if shared, they diminish. And if you share your happiness it will grow. So compassion helps to diminish the problems and to raise the happiness.

You know these categories: para-dukha-dukhi, para-sukha-dukhi, para sukha-sukhi, paka-dukha-sukhi, ha? The most general one is para-sukha-dukhi: the happiness of others is a great misery for me. Para-sukha-dukhi – if somebody is happy around me, I’m sad! How is it that the other is happy!? That is not very nice, we don’t really like that kind of person. The second category is even worse: para-dukha-sukhi. That is if someone is happy by the sufferings of others. He is a determined wrong-doer. That is the worst! Then there is para-dukna-dukhhi – the suffering of others is a suffering for me. This is compassion – when I’m ready to share his troubles, when I feel his pain. And para-sukha-sukhi is happy when others are happy. This is a very positive approach, a higher type of compassion.

So the second step was compassion – when you share the feelings. And the third one is affection. When you not only listen, when you not only share, but when you are ready to take all the trouble, to take away the sufferings of others. And it is not possible without sacrifice. It is said that many are the gurus who take away the money of the disciples. But very few are the gurus, who take away the troubles and the sufferings of the disciples. So this is one real qualification, real symptom of a real master – that he is ready to sacrifice himself for the benefit of others. So if we can get one drop of mercy from such a person, then our whole character is changed. We work on ourselves very hard for a long time – no result. But when we come to a sacred and holly company, immediately their values become my values. This is the group dynamics of sadhu-sangha. Exchange of values.

To help we have to be firmly connected to the higher source. Because to be stuck in the problems of others – this is called the burn-out syndrome. When you have given, given, given to others and … you have run out. When there is no supply to you. This is a great trouble and all the helpers on any level. Because if somebody is NOT connected to God, not connected to the unlimited source, then his resources will be finished – sooner or later.

And also there is a mistake, that we often commit – when we think that WE are doing. Then the burden of responsibility is just pushing you down like anything! And when you achieve your first successes, then you get the taste: “Yes, I’m doing good! I’m great! I’m proved! It works!” We should NEVER forget that we are instruments. And we should not make people depending on US, but depend on God. Because in this way we can educate and create zombies around us – if we make them depend on ourselves. But if we help them to understand that they BELONG to the divine family of God, they have some eternal, permanent connection, that they are shining sparks from the great fire – then they will not search for candles.

So independence is very important. Sharing – but preserving the independence; because I’m going my path and they are going their path. The only thing that overruns that little distance, little lack of feelings, little coldness – this is Bhakti. But when we approach WITH Bhakti to people, then we shall be protected. If you are ready to jump, then you don’t have to jump. Or even if you jump, Krishna will protect. Devotional burn-out syndrome, ha?