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Sharanagati

Collected words from talks of Swami Tirtha




lightsword

(continues from the previous Friday)

Whatever little insignificant service that we can offer to the Lord will definitely bring a result. Lila Avatar Prabhu told me in the morning that he’s been visiting lectures for two years. I told him that I’ve been visiting lectures for… I don’t know, I cannot really calculate. Let’s say twenty years. And to tell you the truth I hardly feel any change. It doesn’t mean that at the first moment I had the full realization and I was so perfect at the beginning that it was impossible to improve that standard. But you know, it is said that bhakti is a very quick process, still sometimes you feel it looks like very slow. Just like bathing the coal. It doesn’t matter how much you wash the coal it will stay black.

Sometimes you do your spiritual practice and you don’t feel the results. You visit the lectures for twenty years and you feel: ‘Hey! There is no result of visiting lectures! Maybe I should start a different lifestyle. I’ve listened to the same old message for the last twenty years: that Krishna is the Supreme Lord – but I don’t know. And I should do something, but I am lazy.’ You can have your old friends, your doubts, returning from time to time. So, you decide after twenty years: ‘From now on I will start a different lifestyle instead of visiting these lectures with no result! I will start my private life.’ You can start a free lifestyle. And after two years of free lifestyle you will end up with the same feeling: ‘No change, no results.’ During those twenty years you have learned that a simple lifestyle might bring some karmic results. But in two years you have checked ‘No, sorry! No results, I am fine! I am still like at the beginning, like after twenty years. Like after twenty-two years. No results.’

But please, my dear ones, don’t give it up – I mean not the karmic lifestyle. Because what is the result of your twenty years listening to lectures? It is that you are still sitting here. So your spiritual activities will bring very subtle and very delicate fruits, but they will bring fruits. In the same way, the free life style will also bring very subtle fruits. But you know what the result of twenty years spiritual service is. Yet you don’t know what the result of twenty years karmic life is. So, better we stick to that version that we have tried. Because sometimes really devotees might feel ‘I’ve been doing this and no change. Where is this perfection? What is this ecstasy?’

Once in Nandafalva there was a lecture and at the end of the lecture when there were some questions one young man asked: “You always mention this ecstasy – can you tell something about that?” I said: “But listen, all the time we were discussing that.” Then five minutes later he again returned: “But what is this ecstasy?” Three or four times he returned to the same topic, although this was the basic topic of the whole lecture. All right, but how to find this extraordinary feeling?

Let me tell you another story. One of my very dear brothers, who is like a shining example of faith for me, when he met the devotees immediately he was charmed. He was living in Budapest and he knew that the devotees had their ashram in the next village. But he had no address, nothing, no part of the village to find. So what did he do? He went to the village and in a very desperate mood he was going along the streets, crying and shouting: “Haribol, haribol!” – searching for the devotees. And what happened? Finally he found the ashram. Then when he joined, he was in full ecstasy for seven days. Really he was out. Then once there was a big program, big meeting, a big dancing kirtan. And after the kirtan he asked the preacher: “Can you tell me what that very special feeling at the end of the kirtan is?” “You know, this is ecstasy.” So, sometimes you have it, but you don’t know that you have it. Since that time he is still a very good kirtaniya – singer and dancer.

Sometimes we can maintain the same standards for twenty, thirty years or lifetimes. So, don’t worry if after two years or after twenty years you don’t feel the immediate results of enjoying full perfection.

 

(to be continued)



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