Sharanagati

(from a lecture of Swami Tirtha, 03.10.2017 morning, Sofia)

(continues from the previous Monday)

Another way to eliminate envy: for example, if you are a servant in the ashram, subconsciously you are envious of the position of the responsible person in the ashram, right? You think: ‘He doesn’t do his job nicely; I can do it better. Mistake again, he is pushing me to serve…’ At that moment one very good therapy is when you have to take the same position. Immediately you will understand the pros and cons of the situation. That was applied by Gurudev many times in Hungary: we had a revolving system of leadership, so to say. So, for one month one devotee was the responsible person, the other month other devotee was the responsible person. And you know, until you are a follower, or, so to say, a servant, you revolt; but as soon as you are a leader, you understand that this revolution is not very positive.

Bhaktivinod Thakur also gives some advice how to control and how to convert these bad patterns. He says that for example the unfaithful behavior should be controlled by the institution of sacred marriage. Or pride should be controlled by humble services. So, there is a way to harmonize and to substitute these bad patterns.

Envy is no doubt one of the final enemies in spiritual progress. Yet if we trust that the process will work on us, then we shall be successful. But as it was mentioned, sometimes even spiritual practices might bring some, let’s say, questionable results at the first moments, like to raise your pride. Still we should continue; and then the purification will come. And the best remedy for all such troubles is the pure chanting of the holy names.

Also, envy can be controlled by sharing. Envy is also another type of attachment. You are attached to something that you don’t have. So, either you start to have those things, or you renounce them – but fully, not only superficially.

Question of Yogeshvara: Could you please share from your period of being a disciple how you coped with these enemies?

Swami Tirtha: I’m still a disciple and I couldn’t conquer my envy. Because I’m envious of your dedication. But I hope this envy will help me to grow.

Envy… yes! When I saw how my Gurudev loves another devotee, I was really envious. But only for a bit. Because then I understood: ‘Wait a minute, if they are happy, I’m also happy!’

Then I understood that there was something higher than my satisfaction, so to say – that I gain the attention of my master. Because I could see this spiritual affection manifested. Something was shown in their relationship, something divine! And even to be an observer of a divine revelation – it’s a full satisfaction! And actually, I’m still a fan of this brother of mine who was a favorite son of my Gurudev. Of course, all the disciples were favorites of our master.

But if you ask for some personal experience, this one I remember: I was trying to achieve his attention – as we all try to achieve the same attention as others. But when I realized that it’s not necessary, then I became much more peaceful.